THE HEALTHY BBW

In the minds of the uninitiated, that phrase makes no sense. It could also be taken and knocked around as a joke, because of course, us big girls have simply eaten ourselves to out sized sexiness. SO WRONG!!! The things that people don’t take the time to look at are things like genetics, disease – and as a result, medication, mind-set, stress levels, earning power. Genetics points us to family and our predisposition to gaining and keeping weight on. There was a time when the statement “I come from a big-boned family” would cause raucous laughter in any room. The fact is that although people refer to the bones, it is a fact that families share everything, including the genes that make our bodies the way that they are. It ain’t about the bones, but it is about the body. If your father is tall and solid and your mother is short nd solid, you my darling, will break even in the middle and be solidly medium heighted. And when I say solid I mean that a waif you will never be. There are diseases and medications that bring on the ponds as well. If you’re asthmatic, you’re going to gain weight more than likely because the meds are usually locked down with steroids. If you’re diabetic you can either gain or lose poundage. Someone’s mind-set is also a heavy contributor to the poundage, particularly if it is that they are stressed, personally or professionally. This point is linked though to eating, because stress does make some of us eat, as does depression, anger and anxiety. Our power to earn a decent wage puts us at risk for extra poundage as well. The more we earn is the better that we can eat. The lower our wages, the more difficult it is for us to buy the best, hence we fall victim to the mass produced, the fat saturated, the wonder and max sized meals .. basically the things that are moments on the lips and forever on our hips. So we know what ails us. Do we even take the time to check on what heals and helps us? They ae in our hands, and at the end of our legs. Our hands and feet. Our hands are the instruments that put the food into our mouths and our feet are the things that get us moving. We need to nourish our bodies … not just feed ourselves. We need to get moving and not just move ourselves. I’m not saying that we need to run a marathon every other weekend, but we need to get up off our tushes and shake them down the lane or around a park or savannah. There are times when we don’t realize that we can be and have been our own worse enemies. We complain about the aches and the pains when we move, but the irony is that the more we move, the less the pains become. The other thing is that when we eat … really eat … we lose the pounds. Our metabolisms are unable to become lazy when we eat the way we should.. we have become so used to the seesaw that is the diet life that we starve ourselves, not realizing that our bodies become so worried about us that they ‘lovingly’ store the fat in our bodies, just in case we decide not to eat again. Again, our own faults. You may be wondering why this rant on myself and my BBW sistahs. It’s simple really. A photograph was placed on our group wall the other day of a woman … a beautiful woman … with hips that measure more than 8 feet in circumference, and this is something of which she is proud. If you look at this woman you can see that from her face to her shoulders to her bustline and waist, she is your average full figured woman. Then there are the hips. And then her legs go back to average. There is no way on God’s green earth that you can tell me she’s healthy. She spoke of the thousands photographs that have been taken of her, and the way that people stare at her when she walks down the road with her husband and family. She speaks of exercising, but her children have to pull her out of her seat at home, and when she does ‘exercise’ she only moves her arms. That has NOTHING to do with her girth. It frightened me to look at this woman, and in my fear, I thought of all of us full figured women, many of us who believe that being comfortable with your body means sitting on our asses an doing nothing. As someone who has battled back from 396 lbs about eight years ago to 228 now (And I ain’t done yet!!), I think I have the right to yell at any and all of us when we sit and stew in complacence. THAT IS NOT AN OPTION. Nobody says that you have to wafer thin in order to be sexy … particularly since REAL men know that there ain’t nothin wrong with meat on a REAL woman, and guys, you need to get up off your asses and motivate your woman. What am saying is that we need to be the best of ourselves Love your curves, believe in your curves ... Get to steppin and do the work! Okay … I’ve said a mouthful. Please … I beg of you … let’s get started. It’s for your own good!

Truly Loving Me...

For centuries we had been taught that the proclamation of love of self was egotistical and taboo. Today however, we find ourselves in a place where we are told that it’s okay to be a little selfish for self, and to shout it from mountain tops.

My take on it? Everything in moderation.

That being said, I really do believe that we cannot love ourselves enough.

One of the things that I have encountered with fellow full figured women is that we put off loving ourselves until we get to ‘that point’ or ‘that size’. The message that needs to be heard is that we must love ourselves in our current skins … love yourself for the beautiful, vital, intelligent, sensual and sexy woman that you are. There is really no need to wait to love you! It’s YOU after all. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect others to love us? The only entity that loves us unconditionally is God, and we are supposed to be perfect in His eyes, and we really are not – not by a long shot. So if He loves us the way we are, why then can’t we just follow His lead?

Love yourself enough to get over the hurdles that you face, particularly those that have to do with self image. Every imperfection is precious; every pound worth loving enough to be released (I know that sounds funny but bear with me).

I always recall the words of a particular boyfriend who, bless his heart, was trying to make me feel better about being a big girl, when I was particularly down. He said “You’re not fat … there’s just more of you to love.” At the time I giggled through my tears and kissed him my thanks. I have been grateful through the years for those words.

How many of us really look at ourselves in the mirror? Most of us are experts at looking only at what is and when necessary. We skip over the arms, and bellies, and thighs … it’s too painful to watch for many of us. What we NEED to do is take a good, long look at the goddesses that we are and look at the thighs and bellies and full boobs and appreciate our sized sexiness, because we ARE sexy!

Then and only then can we see where the changes that we sometimes crave can be made. And please, don’t aspire to be skinny; aspire to be HEALTHY.

I am 55lbs away from my goal weight and I know that with hard work, God’s grace and - Lord help me (:D) - Lee, I will get there! And it’s all about being healthy, because I know I will never be skinny … nor do I want to be.

I love my boobs and hips and butt; I just know that the extra weight isn’t ideal for me, however ‘comfortable’ it may seem to be. So basically, I love me enough to get up and get moving on my journey…

Thanks my take,
The Changeling.