STASIS...

That place where souls sit and wait For the last few miles to fade before Their dreams come true That corner of the desert where mirages appear Taking your focus away from the goal at hand Mirages that offer sinfully, delightful promises Promises that you know are impossible to keep But promises that reach your soul none the less The people who suck the energy out of your dreams And the bed where you lay the now empty shells In the hopeless hope that they would spring to life Again That place in the mind where you have put yourself Through your constant inaction From your ever present lethargy Caused by your doubt Fed by your indifference Borne of your fear Fear of all that is Imperative… The need for change which happens through Movement Caused by faith Pushed by knowledge That the only constant is The same change And change of all --- Mind-set, atmosphere, surroundings, ALL THINGS All of the things that have Kept you were you are Swimming in the stagnant ooze Of a swamp called Stasis

THE HEALTHY BBW

In the minds of the uninitiated, that phrase makes no sense. It could also be taken and knocked around as a joke, because of course, us big girls have simply eaten ourselves to out sized sexiness. SO WRONG!!! The things that people don’t take the time to look at are things like genetics, disease – and as a result, medication, mind-set, stress levels, earning power. Genetics points us to family and our predisposition to gaining and keeping weight on. There was a time when the statement “I come from a big-boned family” would cause raucous laughter in any room. The fact is that although people refer to the bones, it is a fact that families share everything, including the genes that make our bodies the way that they are. It ain’t about the bones, but it is about the body. If your father is tall and solid and your mother is short nd solid, you my darling, will break even in the middle and be solidly medium heighted. And when I say solid I mean that a waif you will never be. There are diseases and medications that bring on the ponds as well. If you’re asthmatic, you’re going to gain weight more than likely because the meds are usually locked down with steroids. If you’re diabetic you can either gain or lose poundage. Someone’s mind-set is also a heavy contributor to the poundage, particularly if it is that they are stressed, personally or professionally. This point is linked though to eating, because stress does make some of us eat, as does depression, anger and anxiety. Our power to earn a decent wage puts us at risk for extra poundage as well. The more we earn is the better that we can eat. The lower our wages, the more difficult it is for us to buy the best, hence we fall victim to the mass produced, the fat saturated, the wonder and max sized meals .. basically the things that are moments on the lips and forever on our hips. So we know what ails us. Do we even take the time to check on what heals and helps us? They ae in our hands, and at the end of our legs. Our hands and feet. Our hands are the instruments that put the food into our mouths and our feet are the things that get us moving. We need to nourish our bodies … not just feed ourselves. We need to get moving and not just move ourselves. I’m not saying that we need to run a marathon every other weekend, but we need to get up off our tushes and shake them down the lane or around a park or savannah. There are times when we don’t realize that we can be and have been our own worse enemies. We complain about the aches and the pains when we move, but the irony is that the more we move, the less the pains become. The other thing is that when we eat … really eat … we lose the pounds. Our metabolisms are unable to become lazy when we eat the way we should.. we have become so used to the seesaw that is the diet life that we starve ourselves, not realizing that our bodies become so worried about us that they ‘lovingly’ store the fat in our bodies, just in case we decide not to eat again. Again, our own faults. You may be wondering why this rant on myself and my BBW sistahs. It’s simple really. A photograph was placed on our group wall the other day of a woman … a beautiful woman … with hips that measure more than 8 feet in circumference, and this is something of which she is proud. If you look at this woman you can see that from her face to her shoulders to her bustline and waist, she is your average full figured woman. Then there are the hips. And then her legs go back to average. There is no way on God’s green earth that you can tell me she’s healthy. She spoke of the thousands photographs that have been taken of her, and the way that people stare at her when she walks down the road with her husband and family. She speaks of exercising, but her children have to pull her out of her seat at home, and when she does ‘exercise’ she only moves her arms. That has NOTHING to do with her girth. It frightened me to look at this woman, and in my fear, I thought of all of us full figured women, many of us who believe that being comfortable with your body means sitting on our asses an doing nothing. As someone who has battled back from 396 lbs about eight years ago to 228 now (And I ain’t done yet!!), I think I have the right to yell at any and all of us when we sit and stew in complacence. THAT IS NOT AN OPTION. Nobody says that you have to wafer thin in order to be sexy … particularly since REAL men know that there ain’t nothin wrong with meat on a REAL woman, and guys, you need to get up off your asses and motivate your woman. What am saying is that we need to be the best of ourselves Love your curves, believe in your curves ... Get to steppin and do the work! Okay … I’ve said a mouthful. Please … I beg of you … let’s get started. It’s for your own good!

TODAY IS THE BEGINNING OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES...

This was posted on another site on October 01, 2010, but it's still relevant. Enjoy ...

It has been said that God’s greatest creation is woman, because she can bring forth life. Women, nurture, birth, feed, love, spoil, and generally form the world that we all share. I am proud to be one of those magnificent creations, and I always have been. Even as a child, I somehow thought myself a little above those other creatures … yuh know them and we love them – MEN!  But I digress.

Today is a day to celebrate my sisterhood in a real way. Today we take the time to think about all of the ones who have gone before, who fought the fight – some won and others lost. Today we stand up yet again in our fight against Brest Cancer.

I long to see the day when those pretty pink ribbons can be folded in a different way, so as to commemorate that day when breast cancer, indeed ALL cancer, has been eradicated from the earth.

In a time when we seem to be damned if we do and damned if we don’t on so many cancer fighting levels, it is still important for us to realize and celebrate the fact that we are not alone. Gone are the days when talking about this disease seemed to be so taboo and discussion could only be held behind firmly closed doors. We need to remember that we are free to stand up and shout out that we’re not going to be ignored … that this is IMPORTANT to us and our daughters and the rest of our families … that life NEEDS to go on with or without us.

For the past few decades we have been putting our faith in the medical practitioners and scientists as we live in constant hope for change and cure. The medicines have improved yes, but there’s so much that is yet to be done.

Today I am thankful on behalf of the families of survivors … of the ones who have had near misses … and even of the ones who have gone on to another plane. For those who survive and have had near misses, the experience of Breast Cancer cultivates a new form of strength of character and resolve. Finding that one is faced with this particular challenge opens up new doors and windows, inclusive of the ones that we were hoping to keep tightly shut. Cancer is unfortunately the great equalizer, bringing us to one level – that level being that of desperate hope. The ones who have passed over from this life are the strongest. They have had to be strong for themselves and for their families. They came to a place of resolution and then they spent what was left of their time in our presence, attempting to shore us up and give us hope. They admonished us to not make their mistakes, and to live our lives to the fullest. In the end we mourn, but it is likely that many of us mourn not just the loss of that loved one but we also mourn the loss of their sense of direction, their silent strength, even their pain, for in their pain, they were still with us.

We mourn for ourselves too, wondering how we can go on, and of course, asking God why.

We, as an Army of Women are admonished to get involved, to stand up and be counted and to ensure that all that can be done and must be done will indeed be done in the names of the ones who have lost. We all have our weaknesses but we also have our strengths. Every little bit helps- from the pink lids on yogurt, to the purchasing of anything bearing the pink ribbon logo, to organizing events, to signing legislation – WHATEVER IT TAKES! It is our destiny and our mission in life to make sure that all that can be done is done to ensure the eradication of this disease.

There are stories that need to be told and we are the ones to tell them. There are books to be written and read and we need to be the ones to read them out loud.

Today I CHOOSE to focus on the positivity that has come out of the strides that are constantly being made in the battle against breast cancer … in fact against ALL cancers. Today I congratulate the pioneers of science and medicine who do their thing on a daily basis to ensure that soon this too will be a disease of the past.

Today is a good day – in fact it is a great day … because today is the beginning of the rest of our lives!

The Star That Went Nova ...

On Tuesday morning I said goodbye to an era. I am also forced to admit now that I also said goodbye to a mentor.

Astra Da Costa wasn’t only a mentor for me; if many of the young women who worked under her tutelage are honest, they would also admit that she left many a mark on their lives. Yes, some of the marks were negative, but there were positive ones too.

I’ve always said that AMPLE was a hell of a training ground for me. I think I learnt most of what I know in that formerly beautiful white building at the corner of Grey Street and Tragarete Road (I never understood the need to paint that majestic white building Vomit Pink!)

I sat in the church on Tuesday and allowed my mind to travel back in time. I went back to meetings and conversations that I had inadvertently deemed unnecessary, and as I replayed some of these instances, I realized that in her rather indirect but direct way, (trust me, that makes sense … this is after all the woman who coined ‘hurry slowly’) Astra had left the seeds of social responsibility and the need to be a part of something bigger than self with me.

I guess – having destroyed many a draft since I began writing this – all I really want to say is Thank You Astra for sharing some of your knowledge with us, for molding us into the strong, opinionated, independent, caring, careful yet reckless women that we are today. I, for sure, have learnt to laugh at myself, to appreciate every stately curve that I own … not to mention that I have now perfected the art of power dressing!

We’ve learnt to appreciate the love of family and good friends. We have also learnt to appreciate every second of time gifted to us and allow us to joke that this is because we NEVER had any time while we labored at AMP’s … but we appreciate it nonetheless.

Rest well ADC, because you’ve earned it, and please, whatever you do, DO NOT attempt to tell God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit or St Peter how to do their jobs or how to make Heaven more efficient --- It’s JUST NOT DONE! May I suggest some time in the choir loft??? You always did say that you missed singing.

Go with God, Auntie Astra!