Do You Really Want To Know Me?

Every other day when I open up my email, I am inundated with word games or numbers games all designed to get to know my friends better. There are questions about your favorite colour, flower, foods, restaurants … questions about the places you want to see before you die and people you want to meet as well.

This is all well and good, but the only way that this really works is if the people that you are mandated to forward these lists to have the manners to return the favor. There are days when I just simply refuse to fill these things out because, (1) they can be time consuming, and (2) I feel like I’m the only dork following the instructions posted.

While some of these questions may appear on the surface to be in-depth, they really do reach for superficial information. I mean … what can you really tell about someone just because they say that they like the colour red? The funny thing is that it could be that their favorite colour on THAT DAY is red. Tomorrow, if you send them the quiz again it could be green for all we know…

It’s a scary thing to say, but it seriously feels at this time that we as a race are losing the art of making REAL friends. When was the last time that you actually stepped off the ledge and asked someone a REAL question about themselves? This doesn’t have to be a personal question, but just a genuine one … one that requires more than ten seconds of thought to fill out the required slot on the quiz sheet. Have you asked a friend or a potential friend what their goals and aspirations may be? And if you have asked, were you really interested or were you just killing time till the next buss came along.

Maybe it is that I have been spoiled over the years by the people that I have met, but it always warms my heart that quite a few of them have actually LISTENED over the years to what I was REALLY saying, and not to the white noise that hovered over my statements at times. In order to do so however, they have had to make the ultimate sacrifice … actually SPEND TIME WITH ME … and I don’t mean via messenger. Oh I know that there are times when this cannot be helped – the messenger thing --- as in the case of friendships that have been formed overseas … but forgive me here … I’m talking about the people who are around the corner from you. Have you spent time with your friends? Have you taken the time to bond with them … learn what really makes them tick?

I am very attached to the ones that I deem friends, and those who know me, also know that I love to question and chat and talk … and I can talk for hours…

There are only a few people who can truly translate me. As someone who talks as much as I do, there are times when I can have two or three topics going at one time, and while I know exactly what I’m talking about at all times, it takes a Dee-Em-Jee expert to keep up with all the balls that I usually have up in the air …

My best girlfriends can do that – Nat, Trudy, Karma, Renee and Charlzie … they get me and they know when I’ve switched over and where I’ve gone to, and they are able to follow me. Amazingly my sweet H can do that too! How is it that a man has learned to pull the strings of one of my conversations together and have them make sense is beyond me, but that is exactly what he does. Hell, there are times when I lose track and HE brings me back in line – how funny is that???!

I speak of this because it illustrates the true nature of actual friendship. These are the people who have made an effort to KNOW me … not just of me or gain knowledge of the surface me. They know ME … the crazy, scattered but organized nut that lives within this ever changing shell…

So …

While I do enjoy the occasional quiz, just because they do at times make me think … I’d much prefer to have a sit down face to face where I can look into your eyes and gauge your reactions and your actual interest in the me that is the me on the inside – in the same way that I’d like the opportunity to do the same with you.

You decide … do you really want to know me?