Tuesday, December 30, 2008


As we approach the end of another year, we are once again faced with the challenge of preparing for what lies ahead.

Many of us have made life-changing decisions over the past twelve months – some easily and others that required a lot of soul searching and prayer; even counseling in some cases. There are those of us who have continued to exist and not live, as well as the others who have lived so hard that they are now unsure as to what the next move may be.

The 31st of December in every year can sometimes rain dread into the hearts of some of us mortals because this it usually the time when we promise ourselves and others the moon and the stars in the realm of self modification … we are apt to generate a list of lofty ‘pie-in-the-sky’ ideals and projects, that we know we are not going to attempt. Some of us know this even as we set about writing said lists down.

Last year I made the statement that I was going to make revolutions and not resolutions, and I was able to start a couple revolutions in my life and in the lives of a few that are near and dear to me.

This year I want to make a suggestion for those of us who have finally decided that we are ready to free ourselves of our baggage.

This is an exercise called THE FIRE OF FORGETFULNESS. The premise behind it is that all of the things that you would want to leave behind – bad habits, old lovers, deadweight friendships, former coworkers and bosses – whatever it is that may be eating at your core, you cast into the flames and release them forever. It may be a barbeque pit, a coal-pot, a fireplace … whatever it is that you can get your hands on; make your list as honestly as you can and then after asking your Higher Source and Power for the strength to leave all these things behind, you cast the list into the Fire of Forgetfulness and attempt to begin the year afresh and renewed, knowing that you have put all that may have ailed you, rubbed your spirit raw or even affected the way that you interacted with the ones you love has been cast into the flames of love and renewal.

I would go on to suggest that this be done on New Year’s Eve at some point. Those of us who are able to complete this at midnight should do so … if it has to be done in the day then so be it, but just get it done!

Finally I wish all of you all the best for the coming New Year. I wish you all of your heart’s desires, as well as all that the Master may have planned for you.

Be blessed my loves…

Monday, December 15, 2008


Things have changed in my life --- I’ve made some major decisions and I chose the fork in the road that I wish to follow …

The interesting thing is that I’ve changed my status and all of a sudden, there are people yelling at me from all points of the globe that I must be crazy. “Say it ain’t so!” yelled one friend; “Explain!” shouted another. One of them even accused the system of making the change – it certainly could not have been me…

It’s all amusing I think, and touching as well. I never realized how many people counted on my relationship lasting the way THEY wanted it to. Truth be known I was one of them, but circumstances have conspired to make sure that things went otherwise.

It must be hard for so many of my friends to understand why I have made this decision, just the way that it was easy for others to get it as well. I reflect now on the conversations that I have had over the past week with certain members of my inner sanctum, and I am amazed at the responses that I received form some people. I have since been told by a few choice members that they were just waiting for me to get to this point of realization and revelation.

The process has not been an easy one … I have cried and yelled and meditated and worried and even guilted myself at times, and that’s fine too.

Many have wondered what my reasons are for this change, for this shift of the status quo, and it is relatively simple… I refuse to allow myself to be treated as an option and not a priority in the life of the man who is supposed to cherish my heart.
I refuse to allow former pain and insecurity to dictate the pace of my relationship.
I can no longer stand by and wait until the man who declares love for me finally decides that he is prepared to move forward, while I stand in tide waters which constantly rise due to my feet being cemented into the shores of stasis.

This was no easy decision making process. This has been my perceived happiness for over four years. The fortunate or unfortunate thing depending on your point of view is that four years can be broken down and dissected in four weeks, four days, even four hours whenever change must be made.

I finally realized that I have allowed myself to accept the half measures that were meted out to me and considered myself ‘pseudo-happy’ in the process. So comfortable was I in my perceived bliss that I convinced myself that this life of lack was my assigned lot. Should this be so, then I have now changed my assignment.

I deserve more than the scraps from any man’s emotional table. I deserve to be treated like the precious soul and woman that I am. I deserve more than lip service and dammit I deserve the position of FIRST in the life of the man who holds my heart … in the same way that I give of myself, I expect like treatment in return.

So …

The door to yesterday has been firmly shut, and yes there is a part of me that will always love him and what he represented for me. The door to tomorrow has been opened and it is time for me to walk through … and that I intend to do joyously.
Your choice if you come with me or no … I hope you do but if you don’t then …


Thursday, December 11, 2008


I have given myself permission
To write the way I want to …
I am my own being
Capable of seeing life
In my own quirky way

I have freed myself
To be the individual
That I am
The time has come for me
To let go and to be
True to self

Liberty is mine
In things of the heart
My heart is mine to give
To whomever I choose
Trust is required – win or lose
And I am the only one
Who can make this particular journey

There are things that I must do
And I cannot do them when
Shackled to an idea or a
Dream that is now lost
There arte tears that I must shed
In order to clear away the
Dust and mayhem of an era now closed
There is pain that must be felt
So that the coming joy may be embraced
New horizons that must be faced
So that the newer and freer and
More evolved me may walk
Through shinier doors
And on mirrored floors
That repeat my image as I go
Let the world know
That I am ready and
Finally in tune with the
Frequency of me

Yes I constantly evolve
But now I know that
My life does not revolve
Around the flotsam
My life is a gift from
My higher Source
As such I must assure
That it is not lost
To nay-sayers, hurtful people
And others who minimize my worth

Therefore I now surround my soul
With people of Strength, of Faith
Of Trust, of Understanding, of Life
I let go of Strife
And join with the fates
To enjoy what dreams may come…

Trinie Is a Loving Ole' Goat :-)

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Monday, December 8, 2008

Chasing Pavements ...

Chasing Pavements - Adele

I've made up my mind,
Don't need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I am right,
Don't need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
I know this is love but,

If I tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you,
And that's exactly what I need to do,
If I'm in love with you,

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

I'd build myself up,
And fly around in circles,
Waiting as my heart drops,
And my back begins to tingle
Finally could this be it

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep on chasing pavements?
Should I just keep on chasing pavements?

Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere,
Or would it be a waste?
Even If I knew my place should I leave it there?
Should I give up,
Or should I just keep chasing pavements?
Even if it leads nowhere

How many of us are chasing pavements in our relationships? Many of us are marking time for various reasons – some of which make sense and some of which simply do not hold water. The sad this is that the strainer holders are in the majority.

I was fascinated by this song before I knew the lyrics – the title drew me in.

Why do we chase pavements?

Some of us chase because it’s safe … it’s like being in a relationship with no real commitment. We chase, we bitch, we whine, but at the end of the day when it’s time to close the deal – we bail, as clearly stated in the line ‘EVEN IF IT LEADS NOWHERE’. Another part of the ‘safeness’ of chasing is the unwillingness to admit to change or evolution. We cling to the familiar for fear that the unknown will destroy us or somehow weaken us. It’s hard to let go of what has represented security for us for so long, so we chase.

There are others of us who chase specifically for the CHASE. We get into it for the thrill of the chase – ‘OR WOULD IT BE A WASTE EVEN IF I KNEW MY PLACE…’ It’s about the thrill of victory here, but the collateral loss is that too often the CHASED are deserted upon completion.

Whatever our reasons, we are all at some point of our lives Chasing Pavements – we are either in the process of chasing, being chased or approaching Nowhere fast.

What helps the situation? Honesty – ‘IF I TELL THE WORLD, I COULDN’T SAY ENOUGH CUZ IT WAS NOT SAID TO YOU …’ We need to be open and vulnerable enough with each other to ensure that the Chase does in fact lead SOMEWHERE.

Be blessed…

Friday, December 5, 2008

Looking Into Self, And Loving What We See...

There seems to be some sort of disconnect in our wiring when it comes to accepting and loving ourselves.

The years have taught me that many of us are so uncomfortable with our true selves that we go out of our way to become what the ‘world’ wants us to be. We bend ourselves into pretzels in order to please the people that we consider important to us. What is sad is that there are times when the people we consider important to us, are not the ones who really are.

Have you ever stood before a mirror and looked yourself in the eye? Did you like what you saw? Were your even able to in the first place? Looking oneself in the eye is one of the most difficult exercises, because the one person that we cannot lie to is ourselves.

For years, we have been taught that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well, this fact comes shockingly home when we look ourselves in the eye. Our true persona can be seen peeking out from behind our irises. This is the place where all our self loathing, insecurities and doubt reside. This is the place where our hearts break and mend, the place where we store all of the negative self talk and other talk. This is also the place where we keep the negatives that others have sent our way.

Unless we make a conscious decision to let go of the un-pretty, useless and damaging gunk that clogs our souls and dims our inner light, we would continue to be incapable of seeing out true selves, and the first step in seeing we as we is to look ourselves in the eye. No, I’m not crazy … there is something to be said for the ability to look into a mirror and to make eye contact with ourselves, prepared to face whatever looks back at us and willing to accept ourselves with all the flaws, dings and scars of the day to day grind known as life.

Until we make that self-acceptance journey, we will remain unable to become self aware. Self awareness is the point at which we take stock of the good and the bad, and make the decisions that are necessary to move on from here.

Loving yourself is not as complicated as we have been taught that it must be. Loving yourself begins with the conscious decision to love you. It continues with the mindset of acceptance and awareness, and it grows with the knowledge that our inner selves are so much more important than our outer shells which were only given so as to not blind each other with the glow that would emanate from our glorious souls.

Be Blessed…

Blessed Be...

I am new to this system, so I'm taking this opportunity to introduce myself...

The persona you will find here is just another part of my whole. So, I am Trinitee - Trini to most. I have a love for the written and spoken word, as well as things metaphysical and mysterious.

I write in order that I may attempt to make sense of some of the things that confuse me at times...

Some of what I say you may enjoy, some of it may annoy. I make no apologies for what I will commit to 'paper' here.

I ask that you allow my soul to fly and to respect that flight, even if you don't agree with my flight plan...

Merry part...