Friday, November 26, 2010

HIS EYES ...




I looked into his eyes
And I got lost …
Happily lost in their depths
Lost in the restful pools
That allow him access to my soul
He can see into me with those eyes
And he doesn’t even have to try
I can see myself in his eyes too
I watch, fascinated, as I fall
Deeper and deeper into his eyes
Deeper and deeper into him

He holds my gaze
And keeps my attention
In such a way that
I forget who may have
Squatted here before
Happily lost am I in
The cool assurance of his stare
Warmed by the dark lava like
Center orbs that into me see
I feel the heat on my face
As we silently explore our new intimacy

He pulls me in with
Those tractor beams
I’m swimming … going
Further than I need to but
Who cares…
I want to be need to him
To be totally mesmerized
By the cool heat
Of his eyes…

Thursday, November 25, 2010

16 DIFFERENT WAYS TO SUNDAY ...




So here it is, I’m at the start again, and trying to make sense of this crazy lil thing hat shall remain nameless.

I know that people believe that they are being helpful. I know that they think that wisdom is the thing that I crave. What they don’t get is that the thing I need most is CONSISTENCY… and I need it in all things, particularly in things concerning MY HEART.

I’m constantly being told to turn myself around – as in reinvent myself. Everyone knows PRECISELY what’s right for me, and it’s all conflicting.

Be forthcoming … be mysterious; tell him what’s on your mind … don’t say anything; be shy … be bold…

WTF??! There’s only one of me; yet everyone is trying to break me into tiny little pieces. Am I really that na├»ve? Is it that the life I’ve led in the past forty-odd years has really left me so cloistered and unprepared for the world?

I don’t think that I’m seeking the impossible, and I don’t believe that I’m being unreasonable. I require very little to keep me happy … I want respect, trust, love, affection, honesty … consistency. I could demand these things, but I don’t. I TRUST that the man who wants to be with me will willingly give these things and give them abundantly.

It is still amazing for me to have to realize that as a WOMAN, I’m the one who has to bend myself 16 different ways to Sunday to please the male of the species. Question is, who is bending himself into knots and twists just to keep me happy? And is he going to do so willingly and be patient while I figure out what it is I really need?

Should you be strolling through town and you find one or more of these gems, would you kindly send him way? The fact is that I have found one of them … he just doesn’t know how wonderful he Is as yet … but he will! (Wink, wink)

Monday, November 22, 2010

BE FREE … FREE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT YOUR HAPPINESS.




It’s the strangest thing but I’ve just discovered – well not really JUST – but discovered nonetheless that we are sometimes so chained to the idea of being melancholy that we can actually fear our awaiting happiness.

There really isn’t anything new under the sun, and I know that someone else has already had the particular AHA! Moment, yet it is quite amazing to me that so many of us live in a perpetual state of waiting for the other shoe to fall.

A prime example is my relationship record. I don’t love easily, but when I do love I love hard. As a result I have sat idly by and watched myself get taken advantage of, all in the name of L-O-V-E. There have been a couple of instances when I have overextended myself and taken the stories given to me to heart in order for me to give and give and give of my best, while I received crumbs in return. Nevertheless I pressed forward, sure and assured that the love was there and it would grow.

As we say in local parlance – SALT! That is what I was presented with in the end … salt. Recently, I took myself out of a particular equation and finally admitted that I was constantly being sucker punched. Therefore the decision was finally and clearly made that I needed to save ME. The one who was constantly showered with my affection, effort, understanding, absolution … this same one who gave nothing but fragments in return, has been set free to sit in his proverbial pile of filth … toxic baby mama and all … thereby freeing me to explore the other options that were being presented to me.

This is where it gets interesting. Not only was I being shown another way to be with and around a grown man who behaves like one and was and is showing me the interest and affection that one should expect, here I was … waiting for the other shoe to drop. I find myself looking for and hoping to find phantoms that would give justification to the way that I felt. There had to be something wrong hidden somewhere and I was going to find it dammit!

The sad thing is that I spent so much time looking for what wasn’t there that I almost missed the boat completely. That’s when it dawned that I needed to free myself from all of the paraphernalia of the past and allow myself to be free enough to accept my happiness and everything that goes with it.

It sounds like an insurmountable task … it also sound like some sort of twisted chicken soup for the soul, but it isn’t. The key to this freedom is knowing that as a child of the Most High, happiness is a given. Worry is a learnt habit. We’re not born to worry, but we gain the knowledge from those around us. Worry is particularly fascinating for the female of the species, but I digress.

Give yourself permission to laugh and smile and enjoy things genuinely.

The good things are all pre-ordained. The nasty little surprises along the way are the things that we manifest via worry, doubt and distrust.

Bless UP!

Friday, October 15, 2010

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION??? YOU BETCHA YEAH!!!




TIS THE SEASON Y’ALL!! GIVE A BOOK FOR CHRISTMAS…

If you’re in Trinidad and Tobago, I’ll even autograph it when you get it – just hit me up!

here are the links:

At Last: www.amazon.com

Whispers Within: www.lulu.com

or contact me – wooziejee@yahoo.com

TODAY IS THE BEGINNING OF THE REST OF OUR LIVES...




This was posted on another site on October 01, 2010, but it's still relevant. Enjoy ...

It has been said that God’s greatest creation is woman, because she can bring forth life. Women, nurture, birth, feed, love, spoil, and generally form the world that we all share. I am proud to be one of those magnificent creations, and I always have been. Even as a child, I somehow thought myself a little above those other creatures … yuh know them and we love them – MEN!  But I digress.

Today is a day to celebrate my sisterhood in a real way. Today we take the time to think about all of the ones who have gone before, who fought the fight – some won and others lost. Today we stand up yet again in our fight against Brest Cancer.

I long to see the day when those pretty pink ribbons can be folded in a different way, so as to commemorate that day when breast cancer, indeed ALL cancer, has been eradicated from the earth.

In a time when we seem to be damned if we do and damned if we don’t on so many cancer fighting levels, it is still important for us to realize and celebrate the fact that we are not alone. Gone are the days when talking about this disease seemed to be so taboo and discussion could only be held behind firmly closed doors. We need to remember that we are free to stand up and shout out that we’re not going to be ignored … that this is IMPORTANT to us and our daughters and the rest of our families … that life NEEDS to go on with or without us.

For the past few decades we have been putting our faith in the medical practitioners and scientists as we live in constant hope for change and cure. The medicines have improved yes, but there’s so much that is yet to be done.

Today I am thankful on behalf of the families of survivors … of the ones who have had near misses … and even of the ones who have gone on to another plane. For those who survive and have had near misses, the experience of Breast Cancer cultivates a new form of strength of character and resolve. Finding that one is faced with this particular challenge opens up new doors and windows, inclusive of the ones that we were hoping to keep tightly shut. Cancer is unfortunately the great equalizer, bringing us to one level – that level being that of desperate hope. The ones who have passed over from this life are the strongest. They have had to be strong for themselves and for their families. They came to a place of resolution and then they spent what was left of their time in our presence, attempting to shore us up and give us hope. They admonished us to not make their mistakes, and to live our lives to the fullest. In the end we mourn, but it is likely that many of us mourn not just the loss of that loved one but we also mourn the loss of their sense of direction, their silent strength, even their pain, for in their pain, they were still with us.

We mourn for ourselves too, wondering how we can go on, and of course, asking God why.

We, as an Army of Women are admonished to get involved, to stand up and be counted and to ensure that all that can be done and must be done will indeed be done in the names of the ones who have lost. We all have our weaknesses but we also have our strengths. Every little bit helps- from the pink lids on yogurt, to the purchasing of anything bearing the pink ribbon logo, to organizing events, to signing legislation – WHATEVER IT TAKES! It is our destiny and our mission in life to make sure that all that can be done is done to ensure the eradication of this disease.

There are stories that need to be told and we are the ones to tell them. There are books to be written and read and we need to be the ones to read them out loud.

Today I CHOOSE to focus on the positivity that has come out of the strides that are constantly being made in the battle against breast cancer … in fact against ALL cancers. Today I congratulate the pioneers of science and medicine who do their thing on a daily basis to ensure that soon this too will be a disease of the past.

Today is a good day – in fact it is a great day … because today is the beginning of the rest of our lives!

Friday, September 24, 2010

THE RESIGNATION OF A MOTHER CONFESSOR




I am tired …
Tired of granting absolution
For the actions that you perceive to be correct
I am tired of drying the tears
Of the million
While the tears of the one – mine – go unnoticed
I am so fed up
Fed up with the ones who have
And believe and act that they have not
I am so scarred
By the ones who take and take and take
And forget that it’s okay to give
I have had it up to here there and every fuckin where
With people who walk into my presence
Eyes wide shut
And see only themselves reflected in my eyes and spirit
Yet they never stop to see if I need to be heard
Why have I been given all of this love
If not to share it with someone who is there for ME
In the same way that I am there for them
Is it that I am unworthy of being loved in return?
Did that nature boy know what the fuck
He was talking about when he declared
All those years ago
That the greatest thing we’d ever learn
Was just to love and be loved in return?
Newsflash … I’m still waiting
Here I sit with my bags packed and with nowhere to go
Because it would seem that the train has left
Me at the station
And do you know why?
Because I was more than likely stuck
In the ladies’ room giving comfort to someone
And it was more than likely
Someone who ran off to catch their own bus!
Has anyone taken the time to really look behind
My supposed smile?
I’m plum tuckered out
From being the training ground where
The males of the species come to find out
What they’ve been doing wrong so that they can
Graduate and move on to their princess brides
For the love of God – leave me some pride
I’m not your sister, your teacher, your buddy your pal …
I have hopes and aspirations too …
Do you even try to see me as I see you?
I’ve lost so much, and at times
It feels that I’ve gained so little
It’s like I’m permanently stuck in the middle
I don’t want to be anyone’s middle passage
I deserve to be someone’s destination
So now I’m handing in my resignation
Mother confessor is taking a respite
Sista Soljah is giving her shoulder a rest
Big sis and lil buddy are both signing off
Excuse me while I go to my corner
And continue to dry my own tears
And maybe … just maybe someone will take the time
And show that they care
And if they don’t – big surprise…
It’s just another day
In my own personal misconstrued paradise…

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Journalists, or PENs For Hire ...





I looked with some interest at the headline of today’s Trinidad Guardian, which indicated that there is a mass exodus of media ‘personalities, a.k.a. journalists, all of whom seem to be heading blithely into Governmental service.

Interesting …

Whatever happened to being paragons of virtue and the ‘voice of the people’? what happened to the need to investigate the wrongs and bad habits of the government and all concerned with them – be they contracts, persons of interest, hidden agendas?

Is it that these things are only important when certain people are the targets?

Interesting …

So … apparently now that ‘everything is right with the world’ we have a huge chunk of the media moving in to governmental service … what a bleepin joke!

It is now blatantly obvious that anyone can be bought for a good enough price, even members of the 5th estate.

Case in point: I have been watching with avid interest, along with some of my fellow observers, the interesting goings on and behavior of two PROMINENT members of the current Cabinet. It would seem that some people cannot walk without having their hands held, and others cannot walk without having hands to hold. Be it at the airport, the parliament, public meetings, from one car to the next … these two act like kindergarten buddies. Seeing as how the photographs have been appearing in every single daily and weekend newspaper produced in Trinidad and Tobago, I find it rather strange that nothing has been written about this situation. However, had this been the former Prime Minister’s wife and another member of the former Cabinet, there would have been such a furor brought to life that it would have been heard all the way in North America.

Why the double standard fellas? Where are those investigative minds that you’re all so proud of – the same ones who for the past few years have been reporting blindly and then printing tiny page 1 and 2 apologies for slanderous comments?

Have you now learnt the error of your ways? Or is it that this regime pays better? Inquiring minds want to know.

Has it occurred to any of you ship jumping jokers that you’re following the scent of a dangling carrot in order to keep you silent? Are you aware that you have joined the ranks of the government propaganda machine – the same machine that you raged against, a short few months ago? It just strikes me as passing strange that you’re all willing to become the right hand men and women of this crop of ‘stooges’ but you weren’t willing to do the same for those who went before.

Tell me … how are you going to spend your thirty pieces of silver – the ones who gained when you sold your collective souls and sold out the people who look to you for opinions and advice. Is it that we are all going t have to stay tuned for the Department of Information weekend programming to know what’s going on in sweet T&T?

Dare God I hope not.

To say that I am disappointed is a major understatement. To say that I’m surprised would be a lie.

Tread lightly gents, and know that the people that you will ignore on the way ‘up’ are attached to the same asses that you will have to kiss on the way back down!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

WTF!!!




Friendship is a funny thing. There are times when we need to stretch to accommodate the baggage that might sneak in, and there are times when we need to contract in order to keep our perspective and sanity.

I’m trying to figure out where I am in a particular friendship, and I just had a WTF moment.

As the adult on record in this get up, I’m wondering if the age difference is causing a significant shift when it comes to things like translation and understanding. Maybe it is that I’m expecting too much from the individual, but the difference is not so insurmountable that common sense cannot and will not kick in.

Why is it so easy for some of us to be obtuse and hurtful to the needs of many of us? Is it just me or is it that it feels like paranoia has become the norm for some of us? Why is it so easy for some of us to be mean spirited and bitter towards the achievements of the majority of us?

I know that I’m asking a myriad of questions, and I know that many of those questions are rhetorical. By the same token, there are really some of us who can cause amazement to hurt the brain.

Example.

I’ve been attempting to pursue a particular course for the past few months, and someone whom I now recognize as a bandwagonist announced that they would come aboard and we would stay the course together, and use our ‘existing’ buddy system to lessen the ‘pains’ as it were.

I believed them when they said that they were ready. I made myself available to them, and I did what I could to introduce her to the tenets that she would need to follow…

Why then … at the end of it all … are they attempting to make me feel that this is somehow my fault?

Hindsight is 20/20 vision and I’ve put a few pieces of the puzzle together.

This isn’t about me. It is about them and their baggage, and I refuse to be the trash guy. It’s about their decisions and their priorities and until they come to the point of acknowledging that there are changes to be made, then they will continue to wallow in their ‘ignunce’, and that’s just the way it is.

I will do what I need to do for me and that’s it. When they are ready to handle their shit, they will do what needs to be done for them – plain and simple.

We all need to be adult enough to do what we need to for ourselves, and by the same token we need to be adult enough to take the responsibility for the fucked up decisions that we sometimes make, thereby avoiding the stupid blame game that we seem to always want to play …

And that’s my take!

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Truly Loving Me...



For centuries we had been taught that the proclamation of love of self was egotistical and taboo. Today however, we find ourselves in a place where we are told that it’s okay to be a little selfish for self, and to shout it from mountain tops.

My take on it? Everything in moderation.

That being said, I really do believe that we cannot love ourselves enough.

One of the things that I have encountered with fellow full figured women is that we put off loving ourselves until we get to ‘that point’ or ‘that size’. The message that needs to be heard is that we must love ourselves in our current skins … love yourself for the beautiful, vital, intelligent, sensual and sexy woman that you are. There is really no need to wait to love you! It’s YOU after all. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we expect others to love us? The only entity that loves us unconditionally is God, and we are supposed to be perfect in His eyes, and we really are not – not by a long shot. So if He loves us the way we are, why then can’t we just follow His lead?

Love yourself enough to get over the hurdles that you face, particularly those that have to do with self image. Every imperfection is precious; every pound worth loving enough to be released (I know that sounds funny but bear with me).

I always recall the words of a particular boyfriend who, bless his heart, was trying to make me feel better about being a big girl, when I was particularly down. He said “You’re not fat … there’s just more of you to love.” At the time I giggled through my tears and kissed him my thanks. I have been grateful through the years for those words.

How many of us really look at ourselves in the mirror? Most of us are experts at looking only at what is and when necessary. We skip over the arms, and bellies, and thighs … it’s too painful to watch for many of us. What we NEED to do is take a good, long look at the goddesses that we are and look at the thighs and bellies and full boobs and appreciate our sized sexiness, because we ARE sexy!

Then and only then can we see where the changes that we sometimes crave can be made. And please, don’t aspire to be skinny; aspire to be HEALTHY.

I am 55lbs away from my goal weight and I know that with hard work, God’s grace and - Lord help me (:D) - Lee, I will get there! And it’s all about being healthy, because I know I will never be skinny … nor do I want to be.

I love my boobs and hips and butt; I just know that the extra weight isn’t ideal for me, however ‘comfortable’ it may seem to be. So basically, I love me enough to get up and get moving on my journey…

Thanks my take,
The Changeling.

Monday, August 16, 2010

A Review of At Last... - Through the Eyes of a Friend & Her Daughter.




Hi there,

The following is an email that I received this morning from my friend Dani. I have to say that it was indeed heartwarming and as such made me smile. It’s nice to know that people are paying attention to the things that you’re doing…

Hi Donna,

OK, this is gonna get your underpants all knotted up now!!!!!

I AM JUST NOW READING… CONTINUOUSLY FROM COVER TO COVER – NOT START – STOP… AT LAST!!!!!!!

I must say that I can’t stop!!! Might I add it’s nice to be able to read
something with life like situations and characters that my 12 year old and I can sit and discuss and not be bored and I don’t have to be afraid that there might be something in there that I might not want her to learn just yet.

As you know she is beyond her years so she is not interested in the
Twilight Saga. She thinks it’s for boring little white girls with nothing
else to do but believe in Vampires. She also thinks that books and movies like those open doors for spiritual warfare so she’s not missing anything.

Anyways… The entire book is easy to relate to. The characters are real and the situations life-like and current.

I have to make a recommendation to you as a friend though. Explore doing an adaptation for screen/stage.

There is great potential between the covers of At Last. I think that the options are limitless. I don’t know exactly what the ramifications of such a project would be but I am telling you that now in the Caribbean we are holding our own in the film industry and now is a good time for you to get your piece of it.

We have the film company here and I’m sure you can get assistance and guidance from them.

Look it up Donna…possibilities exist we just need to uncover them.
Jah-mai said you should do it too. She said you could be the local Tyler Perry lol!!!!!

GO FOR IT GIRLIE!!!!!

BTW… if you’re not interested…I want to play Greer (teehee).
OOOOOOHHHHHH……..and that guy from Soul Food (the series) who is married to the light skinned sister from the show and in reality he is part German (chocolate) (I think she means Boris Kudjoe here folks :) )…he could be my Tre’ yummmmmyyyyyy. :)

Best Regards

Danielle Nieves
Marketing Assistant
CCN TV-6
Express House
35 Independence Square
Port-of-Spain

Friday, August 13, 2010

Strut it Girl ... You Know How to Use it!!!




Somebody needs to explain to me what all the noise is regarding the beautifully body painted skin of La Toya Woods, our representative to the Miss Universe 2010 contest.

Pardon me but I find it a tad difficult if not down right impossible to take all of this noise and hoorah seriously, particularly from a country that has two nationally sanctioned days of ‘Bare Naked Ladies’ – well almost – on display on an annual basis!

This tin whistle noise about Ms Woods’ supposed nakedness goes beyond me. When I first heard the furor, I was led to believe that our queen took it upon herself to get up close and personal with a paint artist and a photographer in order to ‘make a point’. After taking the time to do my own research, I have learnt that the photograph was SANCTIONED by Universe International, and in fact formed a part of La Toya’s Universe portfolio of OFFICIAL photos … as did the photographs of ALL OF THE CONTESTANTS … AS THE PHOTOGRAPHS WERE ORDERED UP BY THE FRANCHISE HOLDERS – and I mean the INTERNATIONAL FRANCHISE HOLDER HIMSELF!

Heads up peeps! She didn’t have a choice, and seriously, even if she did have a choice, bravo for her, because she knew how to use the assets that were given to her at birth.

The photo is tastefully done … the woman is wearing pasties … and her skin tone just screams for art!

To all of the supposed Trini purists who are gasping and clutching their chests and up in arms against it … SHUT UP! You are the same ones who walk through Port of Spain on Carnival Monday and Tuesday with your cameras and video cams, all in the name of ‘recording the spectacle for posterity’, and then on Ash Wednesday you email all of those pics to your horny-ass buddies … trust me, I know what I speak of. You’re the same bunch of ingrates – and I speak here of the men – who yell at your daughters for their teeny weeny costumes, but lust after their girlfriends who are wearing the SAME costume! Not nice…

Get a grip people and give the girl your support – she needs it. Be proud of the fact that there’s a Trinidadian woman out there who makes body paint look good – and I don’t mean the minuscule muscle woman who does it every Carnival Tuesday in her husband’s band for camera time and effect – I mean the one who is waving our flag high in Las Vegas, and trying to reclaim our pageant glory.

As a size-sexy woman, I WISH I had the guts to do it, but uhm … one step at a time okay???!

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

For Dan ...




A star of friendship
That glittered just out
Of my periphery
But not for long
Boldly you strode
Into my line of fire
And you gave just as
Good as you got
Matching me word for word
Joke for joke
Put down for put down

A wicked little sprite
With shining eyes
And a bag of naughty pixie dust
That’s what you are
You slipped in thru my laughter
And left tiny, muddy footprints
On my heart…

And now … just when
I’ve grown accustomed to your presence
You’re going to disappear from me
Taking your laughter with you
Leaving me bereft
Of your antics
And longing for sparkling
Pixie dust and white toothed smiles
Often imagined but not seen

I will miss you
My muffin man
I will miss you
My mischievous Prince
Though it lasted
But a Cosmic hour
I will forever cherish
The budding of our
Friendship flower
And anticipate the day
When we truly meet
Face to face
And heart to heart

Be well, be happy
Be free, be loved

Farewell …

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Doing PENance in The Food Aisle ... HI Prices, LO Quality




I’ve been a loyal, card-carrying member of the Hi Lo Food Stores for as long as I can remember. It wasn’t just about the points and the prizes … I have been in Hi Lo’s corner since before the days of ‘FOLLOW DE RED ARROW AT HI LO’

There was a time … not so very long ago … when I boasted to all who would listen about the fact that their prices were better than Tru Valu’s and that the shelves were stacked better than many of the other markets.



Well…

The thrill is gone.

I went to Hi Lo Four Roads a couple Saturdays ago, in search of ingredients for a couple cakes that I had to build for an order. I looked at the baking shelf in sheer horror. The prices were between $5 and $8 more than those at Tru Valu. I even mentioned this to two members of staff who were on the lane. One of them shrugged her shoulders and said to me that members of staff had spoken to store managers about the recent pricing and that nothing was being done.

That’s when I remembered my mother’s annoyance when a couple months ago she spent over eight hundred dollars at the West Moorings branch and she had no idea what she had purchased. Faithful customer that I am, I still continued to think of the two situations as a fluke.

This Sunday morning, however, when in a state of bewilderment I walked out of the Four Roads branch with approximately three large bags, having just spent slightly under four hundred dollars, brotha the bloom was so off of that rose.

What the hell is going on with the Canning’s Group of Companies – the parent company of Hi Lo Food Stores??? Is it that the WANT to be priced out of the market? Could it be that they are searching for such exclusivity that pretty soon their own staff won’t be able to spend there?

This is ridiculous!!! There is no need to pay the exorbitant costs for vegetables when Canning’s has their own farms – something I might add, that they have boasted about in the past. How can it be that a couple blocks up the Diego Martin Main Road at West Bee’s it is possible to purchase 6 cartons of Green Butterfly Evaporated Milk for the special price of $30 and that special is not available at Hi Lo … in fact I believe that the cost of evaporated milk has soared to almost $6 a carton. Have I mentioned that we’re talking quarter litre cartons here?

How is it that three packets of macaroni can be had at West Bees for $10 dollars but not at Hi Lo? Whatever happened to specials???

You have dubbed yourself the nation’s favorite food store. Guess what? That shit no longer holds water. Have you not noticed that the month end lines have dwindled? Try doing a little sneak shopping at Tru Valu on a month end Friday and see the lines wrapping around lanes like ‘back in the day’ at Hi Lo. And it’s not just on a month end anymore. You can find those long lines on any given day. The transition is almost complete and in a little while from now Hi Lo will be a thing of the past, and that would be so sad.

What makes it even scarier is the fact that the budget has not as yet been read for the upcoming fiscal year and as such I shudder to think what the near future holds for food prices across the board.

Something has to be done, because points and prizes are no longer enough to hold on to your customers Hi Lo … better can and MUST be done.

Go back to the days of comparison shopping – when replenishing staff would go to other markets and compare so that the prices were better controlled.

Have a heart for your fellow citizens – those whose salaries have not been increased, even though their food costs have. Do the math and attempt, as the other members of the Supermarket Owners Association have, to find the middle ground.

Don’t make me come get yo ass!!!

Fix this and NOW!!!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Reasoning ...




Give me one good reason
Why I shouldn’t let you
Have your way …
Just leave you to celebrate
And fete your self pity
Tell me why I should
Bother to care enough
To want you to snap
The hell out of this
Foul funk
The stench of which
Is evident for miles around…
Has it occurred to you
In the midst of your wallow
That you are hurting me
When you hurt yourself?
Explain it to me…
Make me understand…
Help me make sense of
Your need to hurt yourself
Your yen for constantly wandering
Back to the people, places and things
That you intrinsically know
Will bring you pain…
Why do you believe yourself
To be so unworthy of the
Beauty that awaits you?
You are worthy –
You deserve the good
In this world, just as I do
You deserve me
As I deserve you
We deserve the love
The trust, the commitment
The happiness…
The Life that sits and
Waits in Limbo while you
Decide in a vacuum about
Your worthiness
Do you honesty believe
That I would waste
All that I was born to give
On a man unworthy
Of my treasure?
If it be so in your mind
You must not think much of yourself
And even less about me
And that right there is a shame!
Climb out of the hole
That you’ve dug yourself
And rejoin the rest of the living
Give yourself the chance
To love and to be loved in
The way that you deserve
The way that only I can love you
In just the same way that
I was destined to love you
Fighting has its place
And when done right it’s a wonder!
So darling if fight you must
Then fight --- but just
Remember to fight with all
You have in you
For us and not against us…

Friday, June 4, 2010

Common Sense SusPENded...




I sat and watched in horror as the supposed strong arm supporters of the People’s National Movement (PNM) stood in judgement of the former Prime Minister, Mr Patrick Manning. It was not a pretty sight. They jeered, and glared and some of them even spat at him. They hurled insults at the man … but then, having all those years ago done the same to The Christ, why not a mere mortal like Mr Manning?

Comparisons have never been my strong suit, but having said same, I can’t help but look back at the way that Mr Basdeo Panday, former leader and Founder of the United National Congress, was allowed to demit office – practically in silence.

Is it that we on the ‘red’ side of the fence are a ‘tad’ more passionate in our politics? I hardly think so. What exactly was the gain in making a mockery of Manning? Do you feel better? How hypocritical of all of you, since you were the SAME people who not a good 48 hours before were hailing him as your ‘forever commander-in-chief’.

Question: did those of you who turned up at Balisier House to throw stones and assassinate Manning’s character, even VOTE on Election Day? Did you do more than wear a Red Party T-Shirt and wave a poster? Did you talk to your friends and family about doing their civic duty and exercising their personal franchise?

In your haste to jeer and spit nasty and unnecessary words at Mr Manning, did you even remember what he did to get you and this country to where we are today? Do you know what a compliment it is for Trinidad and Tobago to be referred to as the Miami of the Caribbean? Did you stop to remember that we all have our momentary lapses of reason, and although he did seem to have one that lasted a couple of years there, like us, the former PM, is HUMAN???

What a shame it was for me, a true blue (okay red, smiling) supporter of the PNM, to sit and watch in utter shame and confusion as some of us turned on our very own. The final embarrassment came with the arrival of the Riot Squad. Imagine Mr Manning needing the Riot squad to escort him to safety from the hands of HIS OWN PEOPLE and in front of PARTY HEADQUARTERS???!

EPYCK PHALE!

To say that I am sorely disappointed in the members of the PNM who partook in that debauchery does not even begin to cover it.

While I take the time at this point to heartily congratulate the new Leader of the Opposition, The Hon. Dr. Keith Rowley, and pledge my support to his cause and all that he plans to achieve, I earnestly pray that his supporters had nothing to do with this, and if any of them did, all I have to say to them is BETTER THAN THAT!

Please know that I will call out whoever is at fault … be ye SOP, UNC, PEOPLE’S PARTNERSHIP or PNM. The Pen takes no prisoners ~ whoever you are.

We pause till once again awakened by the insipid behaviour of we the Human Race…

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Well, Look at What HapPENed ...




“What a scent, what a scent, what a scent … the smell of the summer of our discontent…” David Rudder, The Savagery.

I suppose the thing to say today is that the writing is on the wall and that the people have spoken.

That would be the thing to say, but I am still unable to say it. I can’t say it because there are things that I have been privy to in the last few days that have left the stench of desperation and degradation clinging to my clothing.

The naive amongst us continue to parrot the words that “this election was not about race but about change.” The sad thing is that even though it was PROVEN – via print and electronic media that it was indeed about race, and not in a good way, the persisted.

I could go on here to quote chapter and verse, but at this time, the point is mute.

What I will say is that I sincerely hope that the new PM … and by that I mean PUPPET MASTER … remembers:

- That they have to deliver on every single campaign promise
- That the promised pay cut will be THEIRS and not that of the civil servants who blindly followed them down the yellow brick road
- That Trinidad and Tobago has an positive international presence – one that has been fought for, reconstructed after the former UNC regime and won back
- That although it is in their inner sanctum the time for ‘them’ to rise, that they need to remember that ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE put their misguided trust in them, therefore they would need to look after EVERYBODY’S welfare

On the other hand, I sincerely hope that the ones who blithely followed the Pied Piper down this particular road of ‘RISING’ would remain watchful and remember the following:

- That they promised an increase in old age pensions, nevermind the detrimental cost to the country
- That your children will soon no longer have the benefit of free tertiary education, so you had better have your ‘dollars’ put aside for the dollar for dollar tertiary level plan
- That the free lunches for elementary level students will soon become a thing of the past
- That your CDAP is about to go bye-bye
- That you have now ushered in the possibility of legal abortions in a country that has NEVER considered such

My grandmother and other elders had one word that they would repeat whenever we of the younger generation would do something that was doomed to cause us pain and failure. They would look us in the eye and say “Tanto, Tanto” while shaking their heads from side to side. Basically they were telling us that all we had to do was sit back and wait for the consequences of our insipid actions. So, I say it now to you … Tanto, Tanto; and if you still don’t get it, then, Bam-bye … me go tell yuh.

In the end I will continue to say God bless our Nation, and I will pray and invite you to pray for peace, common sense, patience, foresight and hindsight, particularly hindsight, since rumour has it that it is perfect 20/20 vision.

The pen rests here … trust though that she will indeed be back…

Friday, May 14, 2010

Let's Have An oPEN Discussion...




It’s the pen again. I’ve been soaking up the silliness and attempting to distill it down to its true essence … take the baffle out of the bullshit as it were.

So here we go…

TELL ME WHAT YOUR NAME REALLY IS.

I’ve heard people scoff when the ruling party says that they are the ONLY REAL POLITICAL PARTY IN TRINIDAD AND TOBAGO. Ya know what? They ain’t lying. The People’s National Movement – PNM – was born in 1956 with that name … has NEVER changed its name and today in 2010 it is still called PNM. That’s the mark of consistency and perseverance.

So let’s talk about the 5-headed monster:-

UNC: United National Congress … was born United Labor Front/ULF, became the NAR – National Alliance for Reconstruction … then there was the split that saw the birth of Club 88, which morphed into UNC and now we have UNCOP – the unholy alliance of The UNC and the COP – Congress of the People.

COP: Congress of the People. Okay … this is the ‘sour grapes’ entity formed by the grey-headed, bobble-necked weakling when he exited the UNC. They have just had their first name change – see above.

NJAC: The National Joint Action Committee – the lovechild of a bitter black man who seems to be unable to come to terms with the fact that he is indeed free, and there hasn’t been a colonial ‘massa’ after him for centuries now. This is the stomping ground of a man who is so afraid of anything that is not black that he willingly desecrated the Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception during the now infamous Black Power Uprising of the 70s, and is YET to apologize.

TOP: Tobago Organization of the People – a bitter stepchild of the now practically defunct NAR.

So you put all of this together and you get UNCOP or The People’s Partnership. Riiiiight.

Riddle me this then … if it is then that the People’s Partnership is UNITED in its attempts to remove the party in power, please explain the need for the 5 heads of this monster to run under their own symbols. Were it a united front – ‘front’ being the operative word – why not one representative symbol? This again brings the question – should this united house that is already divided somehow pull off a victory on May 24th, WHO IS GOING TO LEAD??!

WHO ARE YOU? WHAT IS YOUR NAME AND WHO IS YOUR LEADER??

MANIFESTATIONS OF CHILDISHNESS

Pipe Queen, oh Pipe Queen. Please tell me what you have accomplished by ripping the PNM’s manifesto to shreds on a public platform, save appearing as that of a small, petulant child? Did you get a power rush when you did that? The irony is that some of the very same programs that you once scoffed at and now declare agreement with are ensconced, as they well should be, in that very document you shredded. Is it that you hate the fact that the ruling party actually know what they are talking about and have been talking about for years? You seem a little (and I’m being polite here) CONFLICTED. Pick a side, stick with it.

SOME PEOPLE COULD EAT VOMIT BOY!!

Subhas Panday! Epic Fail – ‘NUFF SAID!

UDECOTT – THE ‘HART’ OF THE MATTER

Seriously this represents the flogging of a dead horse by both sides. UNCOP – find something REAL to complain about. The mistakes made have been brought to the fore and admitted to – move on. Members of the party, let the jackasses bray and cease from responding to them – move on.

VOLNEY – REALLY? SERIOUSLY??

This supposed paragon of truth and justice ... in actuality, this toothless bulldog; with his hyena pitched voice and screeching deliveries on platforms – what purpose does he serve? As one of the people formerly sworn to uphold the law and its secrets – you have openly discussed the inner workings of certain cases – EPIC FAIL. Didn’t you realize that by opening that particular can of worms that you were holding yourself up to public scrutiny? Didn’t you know that people would begin analyzing the decisions that you made? Are you aware that everyone knows that the only reasons you gave up your position as Judge were 1) You were under investigation and the walls were closing in and FAST; and 2) You have been promised the job of Attorney General? Yeah … we see you and through you.

PICCADILLY GREENS DEBACLE

Imagine my utter horror when the Pipe Queen declared the other evening that the GOVERNMNT has kept the people of Laventille uneducated and unemployed. The horror didn’t really come from the statement as much as it did from the response of the people gathered. They APPLAUDED AND AGREED! How the could really be that insipid is beyond me. These are the people – the same people – who are the recipients of the FIRST neighborhood technical institute – the Laventille Technical Institute. Have hey made use of it? No. Do they make use of the myriad of programs available which foster the betterment of lifestyles and living conditions via educational and work relief? No. Is it that they are prepared to live by the words “I vote fuh dem so dem hadda mine meh till ah dead’? Yes. We ALL have to work for what we have. There are no free rides. We pay in many ways for the lifestyles that we are enjoying, be it cash, kind or whatever else is needed. The people of Laventille have been, and continue to be there own worse enemy, what, with the whole ‘PICK UP YUH BUS PASS AN’ WAIT’ mentality; and until they awake from their drug induced slumber and clear their heads and hearts, that is where they will stay – no matter WHO is in the Executive Office. Only then will they see that be remaining in their present haze, they remain expendable, killable, replaceable grease for the demonic grindstones of drugs, guns and murder.

RING DE BELL, RING DE BELL

Right --- the ox-like moron yet again! Be careful what you wish for Pipe Queen because you just might get it. You are spoiling for a Spiritual bitch-slapping from messing with the icons of the Spiritual Baptist faith. This baldheaded one – this “woman” that you have put so much stock and faith in – is messing with things that she ought to know better of. Ringing a bell as a Spiritual Baptist calls forth entities and forces that you shouldn’t necessarily be awakening. You have declared yourself to be a Baptist-Hindu. Know that the two realms do not usually mix. Note that although deities from one faith do appear in the other, like oil and water, there is no love lost between them. This person is making a mockery of what is supposed to be held in sacred regard. I have NEVER seen a Hindu appear on ANY political platform to perform a Poojah – have you? So why the need for the Baptist exhibition? Is this your pathetic attempt to reach out to the afro-based dynamic? Better than that!

As usual, there are more questions than answers, but the Pen pauses here … she will be back anon.

Friday, April 30, 2010

IT'S MY PEN & I'LL WRITE IF I WANT TO ...




The Silly Season is upon us and some of us are now way past Silly and have sailed swiftly into Insipid Village.

I refer to some of the goings on of the various so-called political parties. It would seem that it is true that any jackass with an ideology and a ‘dream’ can jump in and form a party. Okay – fine … but are these parties ‘All-Inclusive’ or are they gearing strictly towards one and only one goal?

If you were to speak to any of the leaders of these political fetes, they would say to you that their main concern is GOOD GOVERNANCE FOR ALL, but the TRUE and thinly veiled agenda is the REMOVAL of the CURRENT LEADERSHIP.

What’s funny is that if you ask the ‘NEW’ leaders what their plan is, they say promptly “Remove P MANNING from the helm of this country with IMMEDIATE effect!” Go on to ask “Okay – what next?” You would notice the silent and distinct pause. That is because the majority of them haven’t thought that far ahead – they just know they want control and power. ‘SILLINESS’.

What’s your plan? How are you going to fix what you believe the Government has messed up? Has it occurred to you that Trinbagonians are better off than many of our Caribbean brothers and sisters? Did you know that senior citizens in America, Canada and other parts of the world do not receive pension payments at the end of the month from the Government, but ours do? Are you aware that the majority of them live on the pensions that they MAY have been lucky enough to contribute to and/or Social Security checks, and that a social security check and NOTHING are practically the same thing???

There are questions that I need to have answered for, and I need them from the various members of the Public Political.

So … here’s my list beginning with :~

The Pipe Queen …

- Why should I trust you with the public purse when ‘the lining of one’s pockets as well as those of friends and family” was the order of the day under your party’s previous incarnation – one of which you were a card carrying member and party to?
- How can I trust you to look after education when the hallmark of your stint as Minister of Education were:~
o The opening of a school above a rum shop (bar)
o The cessation of corporal punishment – which gave rise to a generation of bullies with no respect for authority and the law, who grew up to become career criminals
o The “Chicken Licken” school phenomenon – where students who received low scores in the common entrance/SEA examinations were stored like cattle in ‘schools’ that boasted such challenging reading as “Learn to tell Time” and “Chicken Little”. This, I am sure you will remember, saw to it that we raised a generation of people with no self-pride … people who were convinced that there was no hope fore them --- fodder for the URP and CPEP programs.
o The secret opening, staffing and populating of the first campus of the Trinidad and Tobago Institute of Technology exclusively with people of East Indian decent.
o The closure of all youth camps across the country. Did you know that a youth camp was not only a place of incarceration for juvenile delinquents, but also a place where the young, struggling but ambitious could take themselves to in order to learn a trade and relevant life skills? Did you even care???
o The stopping of all OJT (On the Job Training) programs which allowed the youth to gain the relevant EXPERIENCE needed to further themselves in the working world
o The human and material resource starvation of the San Fernando and John Donaldson Technical Institutes, so that they became basically haunted shells, causing a generation of young people to have nowhere to turn in order to earn degrees in studies such as Design, Electronics, Electrical Skills, etc.
- Why should I dare to place myself and my loved ones in your hands when all that you see is the need for Power, not to EXECUTE LEADERSHIP? There is a HUGE difference here.
- How am I supposed to take you seriously when your greed for Power has sent you down the road of supposed Unity? You have joined forces with a bunch of people whom in the past you have SAID you don’t respect – inclusive of the motley crew of supposed labour leaders. You spewed venom at the bubble headed grey-headed weakling who leads a party whose deputy political leader scoffs at this supposed unity. Is it that you honestly believe us to be blind, dumb and forgetful??? Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder could see that this is a white wash.

You have surrounded yourself with individuals whom you believe can make enough noise with smoke and mirrors so as to deflect the populous’ eyes and thoughts from the issues at hand.

EPYC PHAYLE!

Now ... I am not saying that what has transpired at times with the present regime has all been glorious and clear … it hasn’t. Yes, there are glaring instances of inaccuracy, stupidity, payola and the tendency to turn a blind eye and an empty head to what is directly under one’s nose, and it seems to be a particular affliction of the PM. At this point I am very comfortable with the notion of re-electing the PARTY and changing the LEADER – maybe it’s time for Patos’ to take five and to let the ‘DOGS’ out and see what they can do!

By the same token anyone with a brain that has some firing synapse left would know that the current regime has accomplished a ton more than your fly by night band of thieves have. Note that it has ALWAYS been like that. Yes, as the Former president said many years ago on one YOUR joint political platforms, “Everybody ‘tief”, but it is obvious that more has been done with the public purse than was done under your former regime.

People bitch, moan and complain – it is their right to do so. It is also a right that people are taught that as a nation, MORE of us are employed than in other islands. You have encouraged John Public to raise hell about the buildings being constructed … let me ask you this. Should your 5-headed monster succeed (HEAVEN FORBID) do you think that Patos’ is going to break them down like so many Lego bricks and take them with him? Do you think that he is going to dig the Official Prime Minister’s residence up and plant it in the back yard of his private home?

Have you even listened to how stupid – yes STUPID - and uninformed some of your arguments are??? What’s going to happen if your BewilderedBeast pulls this off and labour forms a part of the Executive? What are you going to say to your backers who come out of the Retail, Service, Manufacturing and Industrial sectors? Are you going to block the increase of the minimum wage? I won’t even bother to ask about the inclusion of the bald-headed ox-like moron … will you be able to control her stupidity that springs eternal and effervescent with the coming of each Gibbous Moon??? Best of frickin’ luck with that one!

As for me and my house … we will have none to do with you and your ilk.

Yes there are things that need to be changed and fixed within the ruling party … that’s call evolution. But by the gods, there is no room for you and your monster. You are not ready – no matter what your US-based strategist says … no matter how much you transform yourself into ‘U.S.-POLITIC-WOMAN-A-TRON’ … morphing into HILLARY MICHELLE RODHAM CLINTON OBAMA – with the haircuts, suits and Sarah Palin-esque lapel pins. That ain’t nothing but window dressing and it so does not ring true!

The Pen pauses here … but she’ll be back soon!

Monday, March 29, 2010

Bless Me Father ... No Seriously - BLESS ME!!!





I know that this is the most solemn of weeks in the Catholic Calendar and being a card carrying Catholic all my life, I really should be better behaved. However, there are some things that occur and at times that are so inappropriate, that one cannot help but share the levity of the situations.

Maybe levity is not the word. Maybe the perfect word is FRUSTRATION.

I’m actually addressing here the need of some individuals to ‘suck up’ to the Parish Priest. And no … my little home away from home is not special in this regard … get a group of parishioners from any and all parishes together and you will be entertained for hours by stories of people who believe that when they ‘curry’ Father’s favor, that they are on a direct flight to heaven – no stops!

We have a few such individuals at my church but we have since gained a new reigning queen of the brown nose. While I have no actual problem with anybody’s attempts at brown-nosing, I do have a huge problem when they attempt to destroy others in their attempts.

You do you … that’s my philosophy … and if that means that you get your jollies by being up under the priest’s chasuble, then so be it … but leave my name outta your mouth.

This woman – let’s call her Queen Bee – is raining frustration and divisiveness among the members of a parish that is already fraught with people who question the goings on within. We don’t need to have Queen B add to our miseries. The need to create issues, situations and tensions is an epic fail in my book.

The need to constantly be ‘rinsin’ out de pries’ ears’ as so colorfully put by one of my compatriots screams of insecurity. It tells of a woman who finds it impossible to properly function without the destruction of another… and sometimes it’s OTHERS … not just one person that is being trashed down the chute.

Sabotage on a ship is called mutiny … in the government it’s called treason … what do we call it when it happens in the Hallowed Halls of the Church? I can’t think of a word because frankly, I never thought that there was a reason to have one or know it.

Is it that every church based ministry has to have its own Judas or Judas-Ann (hey, she may not have existed back then but I’m sure you know a few of them now!) in order to make the rest of us stronger?

Here’s the thing … it only works if the perpetrator goes out and hangs themselves. I know that it’s a heartless statement and I agree with anyone who says such. The trouble is that when you function as a unit with others who see to use their ministry to build family in church and within ACTUAL families, it is a pain in the ass literally and figuratively to have people like Queen Bee sit and lay in wait to report to the priest and this results in most cases in innuendo, half truths, and sly remarks from all sides.

I must have come up in a different time, but I remember ministry as being something that gave personal satisfaction and it also went a long way to make the ones who served feel like they were contributing to the betterment of the entire congregation. I’m not used to back-biting and back-stabbing ways. This is culture shock to me, but then again not really.

I had my own run-in with individuals who saw to it that, having taken a stand on a particular issue, I was removed from the helm of a particular music ministry. The shock sent me walking – no running – away from my faith. I have since seen the error in my judgment and have come back home. At the time I saw it as a fluke that was allowed to happen. I guess not. Be that as it may, I am stronger for what I have been through and I will not be moved… this is MY parish just like anyone else’s and it is my duty to make damned sure that things are as they should be at all times!

We all want to be blessed not just by our Pastoral Leader, but by each other … and there are times when I firmly believe that blessings from each other are more important than blessings from our earthly shepherd. How can Queen Bee really be feeling when very few of her compatriots are willing to bless her? How can she be feeling when she is at times greeted with silences when she walks into a meeting space, for fear that she may overhear something and others fear being misquoted. How can she feel knowing that she is picked for committees and positions of ‘authority’ simply to not ruffle her feathers or maybe in an attempt to impress the Shepherd?

Maybe we should feel sorry for her…

Uhmmmm … NOT!!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Goodbye to You, My Trusted Friend ...




John Bevan Foard … if you said that name to anyone in Maryland, they would look at you cross-eyed.

Punkey Foard … now THAT would get you one of two things – a grimace or a smile.

Punkey was known from one end of the state to the next. He was also famous in the farming communities in Pennsylvania … all over DC and the rest of the East Coast. They knew and respected him in Europe as well as South America, where he would go to shop for Valley View Farms. Then there’s the Trinidad and Tobago connection, as well as St Lucia, Belize and various other parts of the West Indies.

Those of us who knew of his passing on Sunday evening said goodbye to Punk’ this morning in just the way he wanted – simply, quietly, without fuss and fanfare.

We sat quietly in the Chapel at the Crematorium and reminisced about the man we all knew and loved.

I’ve always looked on Punkey as another father, so that finding out yesterday that he was gone hit me hard – perhaps harder that I was prepared to deal with. It honestly felt like I had lost my father all over again … so fierce was the pain in my chest.

I looked at the faces sitting in that little chapel. Most of us wore the same shocked and disbelieving expression. I listen as Kathy told us what were his instructions regarding his ashes and I realized that Punkey was really a romantic soul. That’s not really a surprise … I believe he honestly loved everyone that he met.

Yes there were times when he knowingly or inadvertently rubbed those same people the wrong way, but deep down he had everyone’s best interest at heart.

Today I said goodbye to my friend, my second father, my benefactor and someone who made it possible for me to laugh heartily and laugh often, even on days when all I really wanted to do was curl up and die.

Thank you Punkey for the privilege of being a preteen at many a lavish table at the Hilton, the Normandie, Chaconia and Holiday Inns. Thanks for New Year’s Eve parties at La Boucan or at home … for Sunday evening roof top dinners at fine restaurants. Thanks for the gift of knowledge given and the opportunities to explore beyond my comfort zone … for chances to witness new and different cultures and sights in my youth – both at home and abroad.

You got me into mischief, into trouble and always managed to get me out of it… Thanks for supplying me with a ton of ‘big brothers’ and additional cousins.

You threatened to ‘cuss down’ my ex-boss when you thought she had no respect for my ‘personal off time’ – proof yet again that you really were my persona protector.
I guess what I’m really trying to say is … Thank You Punkey, for making me a priority in your life when you really weren’t obligated to.

I love you, I miss you, I’m blessed to have known you…

Go with the angels and Rest in Peace.

Monday, March 22, 2010

The Pen Is Back!!!




It’s been a while since I’ve addressed all of the totus bul tata that has been orbiting my personal atmosphere.

For those of you who require some sort of translation, please allow me …

Totus Bul Tata – My own Latin for the total bull shit that seems to need constant release.

Moving on …

WASA: The Ballad of Many a Dry River
Shock of shocks! There is corruption at the Water and Sewerage Authority! People have actually been making money off of the water woes of the common man. WOW … (as my boss would say with that particularly sarcastic drawl). I can attest personally to the fact that we the consumers have been paying for truck borne water deliver for EONS! There have been illegal and ‘almost’ legal connections made to WASA mains for forever!

Why is everyone so shocked by this now? And how dare the new CEO and Chairman talk about the fact that this authority is rotten from the head down and right through the core??! The unions connected with WASA have taken this statement personally, and well they should. The sad thing is that they are taking it to heart for the WRONG reasons. They appear to be genuinely surprised that anyone would ever endeavor to point fingers at their membership for committing such sins.

YEAH RIGHT!!!

Wake the hell up Pilgrims. This shit has been the status quo since time immemorial. The thing is that had it not been for changes at the helm and in the climate pattern, much of this would have gone unnoticed or dealt with … just like the leaks in the roads that have to be repaired 20 – 100 times before the family businesses of WASA officials can be financially sated.

Question – has WASA collected ALL of the outstanding monies owed to them by big business and governmental departments and ministries? Are consumers still being billed for water and sewerage services that they haven’t received? Are ‘favors’ still the order of the day at WASA headquarters if I need to have something done? And are people in certain departments still being paid for a full days’ work when they typically leave after two hours? Just asking …

Drought is apparent all round, financial, moral and actual drought.

I’m all for conservation, but you can’t tell me how long m shower needs to be until you fix the myriad leaks all over the island(s). you can’t tell me that y yard has to become a dust-bowl until your Engineering, Planning and Implementation departments start working COHESIVELY with the Ministry of Works and Transport, thereby allowing for WORKING SMART and not HARD; i.e. don’t wait until Works fixes the road to SUDDENLY remember that there is a need to OPEN A TRENCH for water/sewerage works to be done … EPIC FAIL!

PS: Loving the fact that everyone is wearing their dusty covered cars like a badge of courage! Too cute …

TTRA: An Umbrella? Unheard of …
Welcome to the era of Sophisticated Fuckwittedness. Self explanatory peeps …

So the Trinidad and Tobago Revenue Authority is an umbrella authority that would seek to bring all revenue-based authorities/ministerial departments into one cohesive unit. So far, so good. So discussions and negotiations for this authority have been ongoing since the early 2000’s … talks have been held with the relevant stakeholders … sod was turned for the development of the ministerial campus – INCLUSIVE of offices for same. Okay … we good.

As a result of totally asinine and fucked up decision making and actions by the former leadership of the Public Servants Association (PSA), there’s a new Sheriff in town … we’ll call him Cowboy Y – as in ‘WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKIN STUPID??’ All of a sudden, decisions that were all but made, and settlements that were close doff and accepted are all back up in the air? Again with the Unions. Cowboy Y has NO authority to promise public servants payments … much less say WHEN such payments would be made. So yet again … why are grown people blindly following the Sheriff into certain doom? Can we talk here? Let’s chat about the Pack Rat Mentality (PRM) or maybe it’s Grown Folk Peer Pressure (GFPP) … not sure, but it IS something. Some of those people who are risking aneurysms while marching aimlessly in 36-degree Celsius weather are some of the same people who profess that they are independent and free thinkers. Here’s the thing … these are also the same parents who ask their children if they would jump off of a cliff if little Timmy next door did it. Meantime, they are yelling at their kids for looking at them in THAT tone of voice – the one that says “Are you Freakin’ serious??!”

Again with the massive doses of sleeping pills … WAKE UP!!! You are effectively ‘spinning top in mud’ when you should be doing what you can to prepare for early retirement or career shifts. I never said that it was pleasant … what I am saying is that it is time to stop acting like you didn’t know that it was going to happen … YOU KNEW! Stop drinking the blasted Kool-Aid and take a purge!

Opposition: We Just Say No For No’s Sake
What a frickin’ mess this Motley Crew be! What – I’m supposed to give them a free pass just because the leader is a female? Fuckno! It’s because a woman is rumored to have more common sense that I will NOT. People … if you’re gonna say ‘no’ to a bill/amendment/Chinese take-out restaurant order – give a fuckin’ reason! No for no doesn’t sit well with the public at large. We are a lot smarter than you think we are – honest! Shit like that just pisses us off.

Then there is the latest batch of Parliamentarians. The leader has successfully regurgitated a man so pompous, a man with his head stuck so far up his ass that he is effectively out of touch with reality and common sense. He needs to go back to visiting the damnable Queen.

Another faux pas is the keeping and placing in the front bench … the Automaton of the Panday Era – the Marked one. What purpose can he possibly serve but to be a constant reminder of a bygone time that most of us would rather forget???!

Then there is the addition of the bald-headed, ox-like moron (did I say that out loud???!) – I mean, oxymoron. She began her decades of being the Tirade Queen by going up against the then UNC government – which by the way was made up of the majority of jackals that surround her now – the same ones who spat her out without her long-service award, gratuity and pension. Enter the era of the Bell and Placard – but where is she now? Sitting in the opposition UNC’s lap, of course. But wait – it get’s worse. Every year she parades the highways and byways supposedly in the name of and for the love of children. This includes her recent crying jag at the funeral held for that unfortunate family recently gunned down in the midst of gang warfare. She cried … she cried for the ones gone and she cried for the ones left behind. Yet she stood in Parliament last week and wept for the PRISONERS? Aren’t these the same prisoners, some of whom sit in their cells with their mobile phones and order hits from within those walls??? PICK A FUCKIN SIDE AND BE TRUE TO IT! Y’all waffle more than Aunt Jemima.

Is it any wonder that many view this particular leader’s election of some sort of political gag, with her dangling at the end of some marionette strings???

This is where the Pen pauses … stay tuned for more!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

HOW TO ROMANCE A PISCES ...




I received this message in the mail … take a look … I think it’s pretty accurate (smile)

The following is a brief overview of how someone with their Sun, Moon, or rising sign in the sign of Pisces may behave in romantic relationships.

Pisces live for love, but they don't just want any old relationship ... they want to lose themselves by fully merging with a soul mate. The words "love bug" and "cuddle bunny" come to mind when thinking of a Pisces in love.

Both women and men of this sign crave relationships, and are happiest with someone to connect with deeply. Ironically, those of this natural 12th sign (the sign and house of isolation and retreat) don't do so well alone... though they can be very shy and sensitive, causing them to hibernate.

I call them the "best-kept secret in town..."

Unless afflicted, they're generous, soulful, romantic people who make supportive, giving partners. They so long for union and deep connection that they have to be careful of "settling" and not holding out for that soul mate. Their attachments can be fickle and fleeting, causing them to "love the one they're with."
You see, this is a water sign and a mutable one to boot - meaning, they tend to change with the scenery, and so can their emotions. One moment they're weeping at a TV commercial about kittens, the next they're laughing at something funny in an email, and the next they're sharing deep wisdom about a spiritual truth.
So you never can be sure who's going to answer the door when visiting these "fragile flowers." Pisces is symbolized by two fishes swimming in opposite directions - there are many interpretations of what this means; but the symbol of water almost always means the emotions, and swimming in two directions is indicative of the sometimes confused, indecisive way they move through life.
So many things can seem interesting, and draw their focus. This is considered the most thin-skinned, impressionable sign of the zodiac, so it's critical that they surround themselves with those who honor their tender feelings and are healthy.
They have to be very careful who they give their heart to, because over time they'll morph into a version of that person - taking on their beliefs, mannerisms, style, and values.
You know those people who grow to look like their pets? They're probably Pisces.
In love, they follow their heart over their head, and have to be extremely careful of picking lovers who aren't good for them.
This is the sign most likely to say the dreaded words "but I LOVE him," when treated
badly. OVER-GIVING, over-accommodating, putting the needs of the other person FIRST, and avoiding confrontations at all costs are the greatest challenge of these watery beings in all of their relationships.
They have yet to learn that the word "no" is a complete sentence - and an actual word!
This is the natural sign of volunteering and self-sacrifice, so they make the best counselors, teachers, and consultants; but they should avoid picking partners who
need HELP, and do all that counseling, teaching, and consulting ON THE CLOCK and FOR PAY - not in their private lives...
One of their other romantic strengths and challenges is that Pisces is ruled by Jupiter - the most wise and optimistic planet in the solar system. So, their Jupiterian nature LOVES to uplift and inspire others, and always believes in the best of people, only seeing their good qualities, and giving them too much benefit of the doubt. Let's just say they could use a few more "street smarts" and a little less empathy.
Jesus' advice to "turn the other cheek" and forgive endlessly is a VERY Piscean ideal … beautiful but potentially dangerous in one-on-one relationships.
Speaking of Jesus, Pisces LOVE having a spiritual life, able to easily meditate and take to other spiritual practices such as yoga and chanting.
They're often found in places of spiritual retreat such as yoga classes, ashrams, and
monasteries.
(This is the sign of mystics...)
And they LOVE the arts - especially the emotional arts like music, drama, and poetry. They're creative, alluring dreamers and need a partner who appreciates what they have to contribute.
Because of their deep, soulful emotional sensitivity, they have great spiritual gifts and
incredible intuition. Pay attention to their "take" on things, and their advice - their gut instincts are always right on, even though they aren't skilled at following them themselves...
Their intensity of feelings can lead them to self-medicate and do things to NUMB OUT - such as over-eating, over-spending, or drinking and drugs...
Let's just say boundaries, structure, and doing "grown up" things like paying the bills on time and keeping their affairs organized aren't their strength.
"Going with the flow" and soaring to high creative, mystical heights are. They long to please, and don't mind letting a lover lead - especially in the bedroom. (Wink, wink...)
If in love with a Pisces, be sure to be a patient listener - they NEED to share their
innermost thoughts and feelings and thrive on lots of attention...
They feel soothed by animals and nature, and especially enjoy being around water. When stressed, they need to withdraw from the world. The best way to comfort a Pisces is through something soft and loving - they long to be touched, massaged, bathed, and petted. They DO NOT respond well to "tough love" or constructive feedback, and take any criticism way too hard.
Though they're MORE than willing to admit their faults - and take the blame for things that are not their responsibility. When upset, they'll withdraw and pout, being a "silent screamer" over any other kind.
A Pisces will almost never speak in anger or be cruel unless something else is going on in their stars. In fact, it takes A LOT to make them angry - they'll give and give and give and give and give and give, all the while saying, "I'm fine..."
But they do have a limit, and when they hit it - WATCH OUT. Silent screaming begins... And it's deafening!
On dates they'll love Hallmark Card moments - walks hand-in-hand by the ocean, the sharing of innermost feelings, reading by the fire, watching the sunset, and gazing deeply into their lover’s eyes. They'll prefer quiet nights for two to exciting
social events with groups.
Though natural homebodies, they love to travel, especially to distant far-flung places or islands.
To win one over, do something heroic and generous like rescue a lost dog, or feed the
hungry … read up on the lives of saints and the teachings of the world's religions. Memorize lines of Rumi and Shakespeare, and have lots of candles, bubble bath, and mood music on hand.
If you're willing to be the more "in the world," organized person of the two of you and
remain un-phased by their moods, this can be a lover and partner to be so grateful for.
There's nothing they won't do for the one they love. So life with a Pisces will be a dreamy, romantic adventure, full of snuggles, support, art, and passion.
You may not know that there are actually THREE signs within the sign of Pisces, each with even more distinct, specific personality "quirks" and emotional needs.
You see, the very first system of astrology, Vedic astrology of India, looks to twenty-seven smaller constellations called "nakshatras" that were later incorporated into the twelve Greek signs. It's these twenty-seven signs that tell you what you REALLY need to know - who you are, what matters most to you, and who you best get along
with.
Knowing what constellation a man is born into is THE way to know what he really needs and wants when it comes to love - and if you're compatible with him or not.
May God and his planets and stars shower you with love!
Carol Allen
Yep! That’s us alright!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH ...




I am a Literature buff from a ways back. I’ve always loved the written word, and have since developed quite the love for the spoken word as well. Words are soothing to me…

One of the books that I studied at examination level in ‘High School’ was Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, and one of the lines that has been stuck in my head since then is “Beware the Ides of March!”

I remember having been particularly offended the first time I heard that line because of my understandable affinity for the month of March. It is after all the month of my birth … and while my birthday is nowhere near the 15th, I happen to be offended by any reference to ill-will that may occur in the beautiful month of March.

Ah, the innocence of youth. How I long for the days when bad news, disappointment and – well – disgust came as such a shock to your system that it could actually shut you down. Now the jadedness of perceived ‘seniority’ may make you ill at such occurrences but they generally roll off of one’s back like so much water.

I must confess that my own encounter with the Ides of March could not have been prepared for … but then again it could have been. I suppose that I am just overly sensitive right now … who knows. Prepared or not, it’s always a devastation when the people that one has held closest to one’s chest turns out to be the ones that literally stab us in the back.

There aren’t many people that have had the privilege to be let into my inner sanctum, but it looks like I’m going to have to pull a couple ‘membership cards’ from some of the people in there. What good is it when one attempts to build up resources and those same resources have no problem spitting you out on Idus Martiae (Latin, Ides of March). Others have said to me that I need to ‘let it go’, that that is the way that they would handle it. I do so solemnly wish that I could just dust off and press on. It is a little difficult when the individual involved has cut so close to the bone. My mother has this saying that she uses from time to time that says that it is always worse when you’re bitten by your own flea. Well that is precisely the way that I feel right now. Oh I know that I have to put on my big girl panties and deal with it, and believe me I will. Right now on the other hand, I need to take this time to reconstruct my ‘fortress’, as there seems to be some bricks that may need to be chipped away.

And like Caesar, I was warned … I had my own seer, but like Caesar, I ignored the warning. Now, again like Caesar, I am forced to turn and look at that brick and ask “Et tu Brute?!”

I find it all so unfortunate, ironic and just garden-variety wretched that in this world, it could be so hard to find like minded spirits to share ones inner self with …

What happened to honor … what happened to actual friendship, and support? Is it that most people have now come to the point of being friends through convenience, and as soon as they have achieved their own Zen and Xanadu, they then disavow the others who have to this point been there for them? Should that be the case then yet again I am forced to hold tight to what little faith I have left in our Humanity.

The good news is that I am approaching the end of my own tunnel, but theirs is still waiting in the wings … and in true Pisces form I will probably be there yelling that they beware there own Ides of March.

That’s the way that I’m made up … it is a part of me that I love – my ability to love others no matter what … and it is another object lesson to me along the way, and I have learnt from it to I am thankful, and I will be more thankful as soon as I reach around and pull the dagger out that had been so firmly SLAMMED into my spine!!!

“Joy Cometh in the Morning”, and I will be the better for it.

Monday, February 22, 2010

LENT, LENTEN, LENTILS???




I wonder if it’s just me … but at the beginning of each Season of Lent, ever since I was a child, my imagination always connected Lenten-tide (is that a word??) with Lentils.

Maybe it was that peas and beans featured heavily and still do on my family’s menu during this period, and my favorite is still lentils … maybe it was jut the play on words. I don’t know, but there’s something.

The funny this is that on Friday last, I went home to find a pot of sweet smelling stewed lentils on the stove. There were other things too but that was the first thing that all of my senses recognized and craved.

I sat in my now Happy Place with my bowl of lentils before me … smile on face and spoon in hand, and savored that first taste. Life was good – in fact life was wonderful!

As I ate, I thought of how nutritious these little power packed legumes are. Lentils are recognized as being a protein-packed meat substitute; in fact one web-page declared that “Lentils are to India what meatloaf is to America” (http://www.eating.health.com/2008/02/01/worlds-healthiest-foods-lentils-india ).
Amazing isn’t it?

Here’s something else that’s amazing. Lent is a season that constantly calls us back to the goodness of our Lord and Saviour. We are invited to “Taste and See that the Lord is Good” (Ps 34:8); to note “What marvels the Lord as done for us …” (Ps 105:5); and we are then invited to the biggest and most important of feasts – The Last Supper (Matt. 26:1-29)

This would make the wonderful Word of God our Spiritual Lentils as it were. We should see each and every pearl of wisdom as our Spiritual Food, but there are times when we forget – and that’s us – human…

We need to continue to nourish our souls with the Word of God. Shoot, it’s the best diet – right??? Well … Spiritually anyway. We really do need those lentils in the real world.

I was having lunch yesterday (Sunday) when it came to me that I am to liquid fast on Wednesdays for Lent, from six to six, and to endeavor to pray every hour on the hour. I will do my best to complete this task and I ask for your prayers and support (big girls don’t fast well  ).

Have you decided what your additional Spiritual activity is going to be this Lent? Maybe you’re going to give something up or add something special in … it’s up to you.

Whatever you do, be blessed in and with it, and don’t forget your “Lenten Lentils”.

Shalom.

Monday, February 8, 2010

My Heart, My Valentine...




You are my Heart, my Valentine
These are the words that I long
To say to you –
Not just in my heart, but out loud
Where the world can hear …
Your heart is timid, so afraid of being hurt –
Yet again
By one of my sex …
Just as I have a hard time
Believing the words that
Erupt from the mouths
Of members of yours …
Yet I am willing to leap
With you
Be my Valentine, my Heart
Let me be all that I can be
For and with you
Open wide the door that keeps your heart
Away from me
Let me into the corridors of your being
In the same way that you
Are able to wander mine …
I love you --- it’s that simple …
And yet so complicated
Take the chance and walk with me
Away from the mamas and the dramas
I know it feels like I’m asking for the world
Right now
But I’m not …
I’m asking you
To leap into your own happiness …
I know the time will come
When you will walk
Freely into my arms
And I will always welcome you
Until then …
Know that I love you
My precious Valentine
And I’m glad that
You are indeed Mine!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Once ...




Once I wandered
In the Desert of
My own Lonely Heart …
Once I sat on the
Edge of the Lake
Of Sorrow and Tears
Convinced that there
Was nothing written
In the Book of
Happiness for me …

I made my peace
Longed no more for a piece
Of the Joy that I
Recognized in others

Then you appeared
On my horizon
With a Smile that
Inspired Laughter
And Laughter that
Brought the Dormant
To Life
You saw through me –
You saw ME.
You Heard me
And yet you Listened
You Dared me to
Take a Chance –
Just once …

I Wondered
I Meditated
I Procrastinated
And you Knew …
You Watched me
As I put my toe
Into the water – daring
To make a move –
Just once …

You made me Look
At myself through your eyes
And amazed I was
To see myself as
Beautiful and vibrant …
Sexy and sexual
A woman alive –
For once …


You are the Sun
In my Shine
You gave me what I needed
To peel away the shell
That once protected my Heart, my Me
My Being

You’ve shared yourself with me
And let me do the same with you

I love you
Not for any particular reason
But for all the silly reasons
That make me love you more
I’ve named you and I claim you
You’ve been my past
You are my present …
The one that I’ll open
In the future …