Wednesday, January 28, 2009
So I've been tagged by the infamous Slacker-man ... fine!
Having been previously tagged on another blog, I would submit my list and go five (5) more than His Royal Slackness... here goes...
1. My father named the steelband Starlift and was the manager for years - and I cannot play the pan.
2. I am the resident idiot savant of ridiculous trivia for my graduating year at secondary school.
3. I love baking and that's how my company - Decadence - was born.
4. My mother heard me cry in the womb.
5. I have at times given up my own identity to please the grown up boy children (a.k.a. men) who have shared my emotional space - sad ain't it?
6. My middle name is Hazel after TV personality Hazel Ward.
7. I fell in love with being in love and finally learned the difference at 41...
8. I found out that there was no Santa Claus when a brain dead radio host spilled the beans...
9. I believe that chocolate is theGod's gift to PMS-ing women!!!
10. I have survived an attempted date rape.
11. I really do want world peace...
12. When I was a little girl I wanted to grow up to marry my cousin Roderick
13. I think I was an Indian in another life - I love curry and all things flour based.
14. I love home made gifts, especially food and desserts.
15. The women who know me best are my other, Gertrude, Natalie, Allana, Karma Renee.
16. I am a cuddle monster ... closeness is important to me.
17. Writing grounds me and keeps me sane.
18. I have a couple of online friends who are closer to me than some of the ones under my nose.
19. Unemployment, weddings, births and deaths show you who your TRUE FRIENDS are.
20. I am the Team Leader of my Church choir.
21. My name - Donna Mae - means Mary our Lady
22. The very thought of HIM makes my heart sing.
23. It too me a while but I finally learned that I am worthy of Love.
24. I was born with a bright pink fingertip on my right middle finger and my Auntie Jay predicted that I would be creative. (Thanks auntie)
25. I am a Psychic Empath.
Sunday, January 18, 2009
I have always professed that there is a thin line between being a Christian and being stupid, and for the most part I have stayed on the right side of that line, choosing to be a fool only for God.
I have now discovered another line. This is the one between being understanding and fed up, and it is becoming apparent that the tip of my shoe is firmly on that line and sliding slowly into FED-UP-NESS.
As the leader of a ministry at my church I have heard and seen it all. The thing is that I have been involved with this ministry for over half of my life, save two years when I wanted nothing to do with anything remotely Catholic – so we are looking at approximately twenty-four years of service.
I sometimes wonder if I am some sort of mutant being because I tend to put this service before other things whether I am leader or not. I don’t attend most functions – family or otherwise – if they are set on Sundays. I try to be back from the inevitable meeting or brunch in time to be rested and refreshed for 5pm when I am due to be at the church. It is rare that an ailment keeps me from where I need to be.
I’m not saying this in an attempt to make myself look better than anyone else – far from it because believe you me I ain’t no saint. I am saying this however in an attempt to somehow understand the behavioral patterns of some of the members of my ministry who seem to have no problem putting everything and everyone else before the commitment that they have VOLUNTARILY made, and why is it that they have a hard time understanding that I am pissed off at the end of the day when I have no musicians or voices.
Hence my question – WHEN IS IT OKAY TO BE FED UP??
Is it okay when I have people calling me at the 99.9th hour to tell me that they are stuck in the ‘back of beyond’ with no ride in site? Did they ever intend to be present in the first place?
Is it okay when I get to the church and I decide to call people to inquire as to their whereabouts and I am then nonchalantly told “Oh – sorry – ah cyah make it”?
Is it okay when I am pulled on the carpet and rakes over the coals by priest and parishioner alike about the inconsistencies of my ministry and what do I intend to do about it as LEADER?
Is it that I must be long suffering because I am the leader? Do I smile and grin outwardly when inside I am boiling?
When am I allowed to honestly express my lack of enthusiasm with a group that seems to function at their convenience and not as prescribed?
Is it okay to say that I currently lead a phantom group of ever disappearing members?
How do I make my feelings known to a people whoa re never around? Is it that I need to email them?
Why is it that someone always has to be called before they can say that they will not be there?
What happened to the commitment to serve? Is it that it expires after a certain number of years?
I remember a few years ago I made the statement that I was physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually exhausted with church life, but I’m still here.
Well … multiply that first feeling by 100 and see and feel how I do at this point, particularly when I feel like I am standing alone in the wilderness with no support from the people that I supposedly lead.
I know that we are now grown and that commitments will change with age and status, as well as the advent of additional responsibilities, but have we not one measly hour to spend with the Lord?
Monday, January 5, 2009
I had a conversation this morning with one of me home girls. We were actually bemoaning the generation that followed us into the world, and after a while I smiled and then giggled to myself as it dawned on me that I – we in fact – had become all the things that we vowed not to … the kind of people who compared our generation to the next.
I do believe that this particular comparison was however warranted.
We were discussing the lack of finesse in the generation after. The finesse I refer to has to do with the relationship tip of life. What has happened to flirting, coquettish batting of eyelashes, side-long glances, suggestive smiles and witty banter and repartee?
Has anyone else noticed that everything sexual, relationship based or even vaguely suggestive is just ‘out there’? Where and when did it change?
I remember the days – God I sound old – when a fella had to guess and do some serious math to know what a particular look from a woman meant or what the touch of her hand meant or even a word or sentence. He had to do the research … ask friends … talk to other females … whatever was needed in order for him to be sure that he wasn’t misreading the signals. And it was the same for us girls at times, although our male counterparts were not and – sorry fellas – still are not as ‘poetic’ as we girls were and are. I mean come on … do any of the young men today have a clue about double entendre and good old fashion punning? Are they no longer paying attention to the men who started it all – James Bond and The Saint?
Conversations from a few years ago went like this
Male: hey beautiful
Female (if responsive): well aren’t you sweet
Male: you have no idea
Female: oh really now … how sweet
Male: I could give you cavities
(poor line we know, but a responsive female would lap this shit up)
Female: good thing I know a good dentist … (here’s where the shifting of position takes place, in order to let the man know that she’s interested, but not so drastic a shift as to give the shit away…)
Male: you have beautiful eyes
Female: thanks … (here comes the fluttering of the eyelashes all of a sudden … the poor man is besotted)
Male: can I buy you a drink?
Female (to continue the mystery): maybe another time
She make then get up and touch his arm as she walks away, just to make contact, ad the poor besotted fool is left there to stare after her or begin questioning the other men there as to who she is and where she can be found again. That is what mystery is all about…
Here’s what that same convo sounds like today
Male: wanna fuck?
Male: my place
Female: no mine – I have waffles…
I mean… come the hell on!
What’s left people??! I yearn for the days of mystery in relationships. I would love to see people actually date instead of just hooking up and being used up.
I long to see young people holding hands and stealing kisses instead of dressing like street walkers and acting like whores on corners – male and female.
I know that this may sound bitter but it’s not bitterness … it’s sadness really… it’s a mourning for the days of gentile behaviour and true love – the kind of love that grew from TAKING THE TIME TO KNOW EACH OTHER…
Where did it all go? Can anybody tell me?