THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW...

The night may not have been the best time you ever had. The previous day may have been the kind that makes you want to go back to bed and start over again … but in all fairness to the new day – there’s always tomorrow.

We are given the chance, with each new daybreak, to reinvent ourselves, to begin again with a clean slate. It is actually our own psyches that cause us to hold tight to the pains, hurts and disappointments of the previous day.

We supposedly keep that tight grasp as a means of ‘reflection’. It still astounds me that we never seem to reflect on the positives … on the gifts of light and love that have come our way during the 24-hour pass … only on the negatives.

We spend our nights – most of us – sifting through the sands of doubt and shame, hurt and anger, insecurity and fear, instead of saying to self and Maker that we vow to make it better tomorrow and paying tribute to the ones who have affected us in a good way.

We hoard every perceived injustice and as such we hand over our personal power to people who are in now way deserving of that privilege.

The actions of one vengeful, manipulative, sneaky and just plain malevolent human should not cause the tailspin that I have personally allowed to happen, but I did. It is my fault that I have allowed my own insecurities to cloud my joy and common sense … but allow it I did.

I now take the time to assure myself and others that there’s always tomorrow … and tomorrow and tomorrow.

Our opportunities for a clean slate are endless, yet we continue to swim in the current quagmire of choice…

The universe constantly sends us clues and reassurances, but in our chase of the illusive of yesterday we miss them.

Allow yourself the privilege of looking up and outward to tomorrow instead of holding on to and looking down at yesterday. Certainly, live in today, and live your best today. Crap happens, disappointments may very well occur, but remember that when everywhere else there are walls, magnets and nails holding you in this place of sadness and uncertainty, the sun will rise again …

Because there’s always tomorrow!

THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW...

Ode to a Plague (a.k.a. Seriously? Really?)

What right do you have
Saying things like that to me …
Bringing every buried insecurity
Back to the surface
Like black crude on salty sea?
Who the hell gave you permission
To unleash my salted tide of tears
You left this situation
You gave up claim
To this wonderful property
And so now it is that
Someone else sees the value
That is naturally inherent
In this yet properly harvested ground
You have decided to claim jump?
I – don’t – think – so
You see…
Due to circumstances beyond my control
I have taken up residence
On this chunk of fertile land
And I do not intend to leave it …
Nor do I share well
The opportunity to develop
What was left barren
Was yours
Yours!
In the palm of your hand
Yours!
And walk away you did
What you don’t realize
Is that this land was willed to me
Lifetimes ago
And you … you with your supposed hopes and dreams
And in actuality … you with your lies
Are nothing but a hiccup
In the game of Destiny
You are hereby dismissed
You are now officially evicted
This land, my darling, is my land
From sea to fuckin shining sea
For as far as the ‘I’ can see
And then back again
Yes, you planted a seed
And it bore a beautiful fruit
For that I am thankful
Yes you would always be connected to this land
Through that precious bud
But never assume that
Visiting that plant somehow
Erases the memory of ill use
And grants you your former leasing agreement
Because it doesn’t.
You are not now or will you ever be
Tenant at will
You will however
Fade back to the dust and darkness
From which you sprang
You who attempts to declare yourself as owner
You of the lost rights
And plans dashed
On the banks of your own insipidness
You who never understood
The gift that ownership of this fine land
Really ever meant
You who missed the joy of cultivation
Through your need to manipulate and scar
You who makes me thankful
For I have now come to the place
Where I can happily, honestly and truly
Reclaim that which is now and has always been
Mine.
And as such …
You are hereby asked to take your spite,
Your meanness, along with
The temporary key to the Pandora box
That is my insecurity
And graciously remove yourself
From my homestead.
Your presence is no longer
Desired or required.
Be gone!

Another Story done on my Release Party...

This is a copy of the article as it appears today in the Trinidad Guardian. It can also be seen online at www.guardian.co.tt on page 5, Section C.

At Last— Greaves launches novel
Published: 23 Sep 2009





Novelist Donna Mae Greaves talks
about her inspiration for writing her
first book At Last during the launch
at the AV Room, Nalis in
Port-of-Spain on Saturday.
Photos: MARVIN SMITH

The title of Donna Mae Greaves’ new novel—At Last—couldn’t be more apt. With the publication of the book, her first, she has realised a cherished dream and tasted the fruit of years of labour.

The book was launched on September 12 at the Audiovisual room of Nalis on Abercromby Street in Port-of-Spain. Friends and well-wishers gathered to witness the event and offered heartfelt testimonies to Greaves’ perseverance in the accomplishment of her goal. At Last is a Caribbean romance novel. The book was published by Soul Write publishing house in Tennessee, whose founder, Marquette Carney, was on hand to celebrate the occasion.

Greaves delivered two readings from the new work, selecting excepts from the beginning and end. The story was at once engaging, eliciting “oohs” and “ahs” from the audience. After the readings, the floor was opened to questions but, instead, those who took the microphone used the opportunity to congratulate the author. Many, such as opera singer Anne Fridal and actress Evelyn Caesar-Munroe, were close friends who had shared the journey to the book’s creation, over nearly five years.

They told of being asked to read new drafts and of lending shoulders and support while the book was being written. It was obvious that they shared in Greaves’ joy and felt a real sense of pride that the novel had been published. After the readings, Greaves signed copies of the book and guests partook of savoury and sweet treats, some of which were baked by Greaves herself.

MY WONDERFUL SUPPORT SYSTEM...

They are the garters to my pantyhose … the suspenders to my now too large trousers … the straps to my wonder bra … my bricks and crazy glue!

I take this time to say THANK YOU to the men and women who have held my hand through the days, nights, years of fun, laughter, tears, confusion, disgust, desperation and ultimate joy that has been the writing and publishing creative process of having my first novel ‘AT LAST’ published ‘at last’ …

Thank you to the EX-Amples & Friends; the home circle; the mamas; the aunties; the guy friends; the big brothers; THE big brother; the online community and everyone else that I may have left out…

You will never know what your love, shoulders and support have meant to me over the years.

It was a humbling experience to sit in the AV Room at NALIS on Saturday past (September 12, 2009) and listen to people talk about me in terms that I would have considered foreign to me had they said these things to me before now.

This entire experience has taught me so very much. Being new to any realm is always tough, but being new to publication and ‘author-dom’ is a learning curve that is not to be believed.

The process of shopping one’s work around is eye-opening, particularly as a Caribbean woman. The level of disrespect that is shot your way is amazing. The need for everyone to say the same thing all the time ‘well, you are an unknown Caribbean entity, and we are not sure what your audience is going to be … May we suggest that you vanity publish?”

Too much! And now having been published, I am faced with the realization that my own people could give a damn. I contacted three local booksellers regarding stocking my novel on consignment and was told that “We don’t usually take work from unknown local authors on consignment, but good luck to you…” Can a sistah get a break up in here???

One of my support folk said to me last night “Just wait till Oprah calls you … then EVERYBODY gonna want your book. Then they can all just kiss your ass!” I laughed, and was strangely comforted by the statement, because it would take a miracle for the mighty Miss Winfrey to notice my work … but one never knows.

To bookselling community in Trinidad and Tobago I just want to thank you all for your life lessons.

To everybody else, AT LAST by Donna Mae Greaves can be purchased at:
http://www.soulwritepublishing.com/BookDetails.aspx?itemid=010

Thank you darlings – I love you all and thank you in advance for your purchases at Soul Write…

Be blessed.

PARADISE GAINED ... F@#$@#KIN COMMON SENSE LOST

THIS IS ACTUALLY REFERENCING STUFF ON FACEBOOK ... BUT I THOUGHT I'D SHARE...

There are times in our lives when we all take risks, go to places where we would rather not, do things that are foolhardy at the time… but the good thing is that if we are MATURE about it, we pick it up and we move along.

At a time when I wanted to do nothing but lay on my bed and curl up into a fetal ball, I sucked it up and took myself off on the now – it would seem – infamous WEEKEND IN TOBAGO WITH FUZZY DUCKS. To those of you who missed the album … too bad. To those who didn’t … then you know what I’m talking about.

This was not the weekend that I had painstakingly planned along with my partner in crime, but it was the weekend that I got, but I bit the bullet and did what needed to be done to ensure that things went as close to planned as possible.

So we soaked in the sea and we played at the pool and we drank ourselves into oblivion on that first night as well as at prescribed intervals.

It would seem that Tobago sun, alcohol and merriment has an adverse effect on a little thing called common sense in some cases. This may seem like a pointless rant to many, but trust me … there’s a point in here somewhere … you just have to know me well enough to find it. My mother always told me to MAKE SURE WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU DO THAT YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO AND YOU DO IT ANYWAY. I consider that to be excellent advice, particularly since one of my father’s favorite things to say was that HINDSIGHT IS 20/20 VISION.

It is always easier to see what a fuckwit you have been or anybody has been for that matter in the cold hard-ass light of day without the aid of prose-hued glasses, long after the hangover has left the building with Rolph and Ralph. But here’s the thing … even in the presence of a good time I think that it is advisable that the messages sent to the brain are COMPLETE SENTENCES and not CATCH PHRASES.

This is not Oz … it is not Fantasy Island … this is the grown ass world where, according to the Cheers theme song, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME…

Nuff fuckin said!!!

OF PARADISE AND INTERNATIONAL REQUIREMENTS ...

I spent the last 3-day weekend in Tobago with friends. It was a 4-day weekend for me; I took the Friday off. The decision was made to travel by boat so that we could take the cars. In the end, only one car made the trip but that was okay, as Friday’s travelling was split between the 10am boat and the afternoon’s 5 o’clock sailing.

Friday morning process, though a little too long was painless. The driver of the car took the tickets of the passengers and got us all checked in. We sat in the car and waited while she toed the line. She even stayed at the check in counter and waited for one of the party who was running late. When she did come back to the car we saw him coming in and sent him to the counter where they promptly sent him back to the car and was told to sit.

We waited to be allowed on to the boat and when we boarded, we followed all instructions to the seating area. As a result, apart from choppy waters, major sea sickness for some and the trip being a little longer than needed, it was a painless experience.

That was Port of Spain to Tobago.

Independence morning found us at the Port of Scarborough – the fist trip being deposited at approximately 3:15am. As expected, our return tickets specifically stated that all vehicles needed to be on the port three hours prior to sailing; walk on passengers needed to arrive two hours prior. With arrival times like 3:45 and 4:15am, we honestly believed that we were well within the prescribed times.

Those of us who were walk ons found ourselves to be the first in line, and we were prepared and excited to see the doors promptly at 6:30am.

Not so …

Having stood – yes I said STOOD – in one spot for over three hours, I was eventually forced by the pain in my back and feet to ask one of the port policemen what time the check in department planned to open its doors. “7am ma’am,” was his response. I’m sorry … 7AM???! If the boat leaves at 8:30am, why is the check in desk opening at 7am when we are all told to be there 2 hours before? Why is it that cars were only allowed on to the boat at 7:45am? Why is it that the check in desk only opened their doors at 7:15am?

The punch line came when a mother and an aunt went to the counter with their tickets and those of their charges and were told that they needed to bring the children in to the din – all of whom were under the age of 10 – never mind the sign that announced that parents could perform the check ins for their children. It was during this particular conversational exchange that i became acutely aware that the individual who opened the door was shouting at us like we were all students of the School for the Deaf. Then someone in the line softly mentioned that things were indeed different in Trinidad. Well!! Mr Megaphone Mouth then shouted all the louder that “Things aren’t different between Trinidad and Tobago, but there are international standards to be maintained and you cannot expect to come to paradise and not do what is right... you have to toe the line here in Tobago. I don’t know what you used to in Trinidad. Now keep a straight line and behave in an orderly manner!!!”

Excuse me??? What gives the Scarborough Port staff the right to speak to passengers like this? Again I am forced to hark back to my beef regarding Customer Service.

These people need to understand that the Ferry service is utilized on a daily bass by the LOCAL travelling public, not necessarily the foreigners. For the most part foreign visitors travel to Tobago by plane. Therefore, without ‘me’ there is no freakin ‘you’!!!

This entire incident takes me back to a statement I have heard one of my parents’ friends make – “ ‘Bagonians doh like Trinis”. When this was first said in my presence I laughed, because I had never come across what my mother refers to as warped racism. How in the hell could you be ‘totin’ feelins’’ re trinis when we are the same frickin country???

There has been many a joke told about the mothers of Tobagonian children and their reactions to their offspring marrying Trinis. It is said that the mother of a Tobagonian daughter is thrilled when she snags a Trini man, but it is not such a joyous thing when a ‘Gonian boy falls for a Trini girl. Double standard much???

I am yet to understand the disdain between our twin island state. There were people who were in the line screaming up, down and sideways that the port staff were acting as they did, due to the fact that it was mostly Trinis trying to get home … that they were showing off and ‘winin’ back on us. Hello??? WE ARE HOME!!! It’s one country!!! What do you need after all these blasted years to make it official – a bridge? Actually … that’s not a bad idea, and gone would be the doubt that we are indeed a TWIN ISLAND STATE.

There should be no reason in the world for me to feel more comfortable in Barbados than I do in Tobago, but that is the truth of the matter. When your own countrymen and women look at you with disdain when you speak, it can’t be a good thing. It is a feeling of wariness that permeates the soul.

Paradise? Paradise for the foreigner is what they mean … certainly not for the local. I mentioned on my way to the port that Tobago is not a little Barbados and people laughed.

I think that people need to take the time to bridge the ever widening gap between Trini and ‘Bago and to really mean it when they say TRINBAGONIANS.

As an aside, please know that I am NOT going to Tobago again by boat unless I am certain that I am a drive-on passenger, and yes ‘H’, I know that getting my license would go a long way to assuring same …

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