My Dear Future Husband...

I found the original of this post on Daily Diva, and I fell madly in love with it. I have edited it to suit me, and I'm positive that any of us reading this can mentally edit it to suit ourselves.

Enjoy!

Dear Future Husband,

I am not a morning person…never have been…never will be, but I do look forward to waking up to you every single morning that The Creator gives us together.

Music is my blood…without it…there is no life…and essentially there is no me.

I am a proud alumnus of the Diego Martin Government Secondary School and I don’t play any game when it comes to trash talking my alma mater. Translation: You don’t want no trouble.

I want you to be the head. There is no “I” in team. Let’s build this house together. I’ve proven that I can do it on my own; I’m ready to do it with you.

I’m perfectly imperfect and wouldn’t change a thing that didn’t need to be changed. Life to me is about infinite possibilities and you learn and grow from mistakes just as you do from blessings.

I need space…but I also need you.

My mouth…can and will get me into trouble. Sometimes I can be misunderstood, but please know my intentions are always good.

God, Loyalty, Trust, Respect, Honesty, Humor…our foundation

I will never take myself too seriously.

I am blessed and honored to be on this journey with you.

I'm here and I’m waiting,
Dee

Come see me perform with my friends - the Eastern Youth Chorale on Saturday June 25th, 2011 from 8PM at All Saint's Church, Marly Street, Port of Spain.

The tickets are $120.00

Contact me through this blog or those of you who have my mobile, do the same.

This is goingt o be a wonderful show that you should not miss!!!

MAY 24, 2011 - ONE YEAR AFTER ... HOW YUH FEEL?

I chose the title for this blog without giving much thought to the fact that I have an infamously short fuse; not to mention a way-too-low tolerance for bullshit.

How do I feel --- REALLY?? The first words that spring to mind are … “WHAT??? YOU’RE JOKING RIGHT???!”, so incredulous is the question. The person who asks this has honestly been living under a huge-ass rock for a year.

NYEH NYEH – I TOLD YOU SO…
In a way, I feel vindicated. I said that no good would come of this holy People’s Partnership alliance and so far, no good has.

The unfortunate truth of the matter is that promises were their supposed future and broken promises are their present. There are thousands of citizens who are now mumbling and grumbling as they wonder why they signed on with the party in power – particularly the public servants and the people once employed by the CPEP programme. These are the people that they wooed, wined and dined with promises of higher wages, of job security, of integration into the services, of nests feathered with an endless supply of monetary goodies. They promised milk and honey and delivered cardboard and charcoal.

“COME CELEBRATE OUR YEAR OF ACCOMPLISHMENTS!”
Uhhhh … hello!!! What accomplishments?? You have done nothing more than take the credit for plans, projects and policies already in train; and not only have you taken the credit, you’ve been petty as hell about it. A prime example of same would be the ribbon cutting ceremony for the Powder Magazine Walk Over – the one with the elevators and ramps on both sides. This was the brainchild of then Minister of Works, Hon. Colm Imbert, yet JACK-IN-THE-BOX cuts the ribbon and does not deem it fit to invite Mr Imbert because as JACKASS-BOY puts it “H-h-h-h-e-e take t-t-tooo long!” PETTINESS!!!

The project is not … WAS not yours to take the glory for. It has been the same cry nationwide. None of your ideas have been original, so basically you’re doing stitches for another surgeon’s operation, Drs. Dread.

Mr Panday was brilliantly precise when he described the PP Government as FUNCITONAL, because that’s all you’ve been doing – going to functions; that and increasing your frequent flyer miles.

I BEEN HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE…
Must be nice travelling every other week, especially when you don’t have to pay. Why should you when there are so many giving taxpayers to rob … I mean rely on. It’s gotta be good being the PM – or one of her ministers/friends/family members/dog/cat/parakeet/hairdresser/stylists/side piece … cuz you know you’ll eventually get a trip or a hundred to somewhere. It must be great turning up in some foreign land or another, showing off your entourage – all under the guise of seeking the country’s interest. I’m sure that I’m not the only one awaiting the arrival of all of these supposed foreign investors for Trini … and I mean new ones, not the ones already courted by the former regime and the ones who were already putting ideas into action and landing on our shores. So yeah … you’re the ONLY one believing your hype.

HOW DO I REALLY FEEL??!
As a nation we feel hoodwinked, bamboozled, duped and run amok upon.

Personally I’M MAD AS HELL. Everyone who had a yellow t-shirt, some doubt and a voice went the way of CHANGE. Yeah we got change alright. We had a dollar and we changed it for five cents. Right now it looks as if we are still owed four of those five. Some of the newly disenchanted are attempting to soothe their wounds by saying that it wasn’t change but EXCHANGE.

BULLSHIT

This was not exchange, by any rate. Yes we had mismanagement, but dammit, it was manageable. There were instances of nepotism, but not like this. Crime existed and has always been a problem, but not on SO HIGH a level – and yes the rate is high, not matter how they attempt to doctor the headlines. There are crimes being committed and people being killed that are not being reported in a nasty attempt to drive the figures down. Racism is at an all time high, but hey … we’re alright – right???!

I am sick to my stomach as I watch my country unravel at its jagged seams.

We are sitting on a powder keg people. Wake up and smell the Johnny Walker Double Black and Grey Goose flavored coffee – a mixture that leaves a stench of vomit, greed, sex, lies, innuendo and ‘other’ unholy alliances behind.

Change? Yeah … change for the worst, alright …

Exchange? OH HELL NO!!! Not by along shot!!!

Are you prepared to deal with this particularly nightmarish scenario for another four years???

Be honest with yourself … a year has passed – how do YOU feel??!

Ah gorne!!!

REALITY CHECK - YOU MAY NEED TO GET OFF THE SOCIAL NETWORKING TRAIN ...

IF:

You take offence everytime someone approaches you in a manner that you are not used to…

Your friend list isn’t growing because you believe that every member of the opposite sex is trying to get with you …

Your friend list isn’t growing because you believe that every member of the SAME SEX is trying to get with you …

You’re offended by everyone who talks to you

You’re offended that NO ONE talks to you

You have members of your own family on your block list (That last joke was just so very wrong, Cousin Ed!!!)…

You get incensed when people copy your carefully crafted, original quotations and use them as their own ,,, nevermind they quote your name as well …
You are ticked because other users copy those adorable doggie and kittie piccies that you posted. HOW DARE THEY??!

You have abso-frickin’-lutely no concept of PUBLIC DOMAIN

You believe every instruction broadcasted on BBM, and you’re not only pissed at the sender for not cross referencing and double checking the results, but you’re pissed at yourself for yet again hitting ‘SEND’ …

You’re mad at people for not respecting your time and rest --- nevermind that you’re up at 3AM changing your profile pic and status…

You don’t get that SOCIAL means INTERACTIVE, not SOCIAL as in the sense of ‘SOCIAL DORA’ (Trini reference), or for the rest of the planet, ANTI-SOCIAL. It ain’t a reference to your auntie; it’s a comment on your friggin’, unfriendly mindset and disposition …

You don’t get that stumbledupon means that you WILL BE FOUND. Yep … there it is again … PUBLIC DOMAIN…

You believe the government is monitoring your every move via your facebook account since you posted the other day that you really do love the opposition party…
You don’t get that ICQ means ‘I SEEK YOU’, so that people will ACTUALLY SEEK YOU OUT --- the morons!!!


This is just the tip of the Social Networking mountain. Lemme know what your thoughts are … don’t be shy – not that any of you REALLY are …

AGAIN WITH THE PEN…(Dismantling the Dream and Selling it off as parts)

So I’ve been attempting to sit quietly by and observe. Why? Because I have been accused of super-imposing my politic on to what has been happening under the new regime. As a result, I put my pen to bed, folded my arms and put my finger on my lips.

Well …

To quote one of my very best friends, I think I’m in need of duct tape now because my finger can no longer hold it all in. There’s so much that I don’t know where to go … where to begin …

PM1

Seriously??? The official vehicle of the Prime Minister – PM1 – is now being called Puke Mobile 1??! Our leader is now publicly known for a constant flow of ‘flu-like’ symptoms – particularly vomiting - and IN THE CAR???! We are constantly being told that the PM is unwell. What – does she not trust the goodly medical systems at our health facilities, such as they are under HER regime and the certifiably batty Minister of Health? Well there’s always the private institutions … but then someone might actually say what it really is that’s being treated – ALCOHOL POISONING – and not the flu. How am I supposed to relax into a state of calm when the Prime Minister is constantly off in La-La (hic) Land getting her friggin jollies while the country is on auto-pilot??!

SECURITY! RIGHT …

So paranoia has been added to the mix. Rumor has it that ALL of the security cameras installed have been or are in the process of being removed because the goodly leader doesn’t want anyone to know about the goings on at the Palace – the same Palace that ‘they’ didn’t want to occupy. Right…

How insipid does one have to be before the realization dawns that no cameras mean no security? Humans can only do so much and things are not like they used to be back in the day; but then again, if you’re dealing with all things illicit then I guess you don’t want a tale of the tape…

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE FO RME LATELY??!

It’s been nine months – the gestation period for a human child – and NOTHING has been done. Anything that has reached any sense of completion or continuation was already in the pipeline pre-PP. The order of the day thus far is searching ancient files for ancient papers in an attempt to ‘expose’ the ills of the past regime. We don’t fuckin’ care! Unfortunately your asses were elected to lead this country not to RUN IT AGROUND.

NEWSFLASH: We’re tired, we’re fed up and some of us … like, say, ME – knew you didn’t have what it took to run this place. Face it; you NEVER believed that you would win! This was a bigger shock to you than it was to most of us, and as a result you had and still have NO PLAN OF ACTION, save divvying up the spoils between the upper echelon of your hideously corrupt and twisted band of thieves!

JACK OF ALL TRADES…

And master of fuckin’ none! He serves no blasted purpose … acts like HE’s in charge of the government and country … runs roughshod over anyone who opposes his views and rules … sold his soul to a murti in order to get to where he seriously thinks he is. No wonder his Justice Joker had to refer to him as the People’s Deputy Prime Minister. Your own ministry isn’t enough for you – you need to have a finger in every pie. What is it – don’t you think that others can do their jobs or is it that you’re bored? Inquiring minds wanna know. You’re always talking about right and truth and justice and honesty, but FIFA is investigating your ass for MASSIVE THEFT. See anything wrong here? Can you spell I-R-O-N-Y boys and girls??? If you stay in your own blasted lane then maybe … just maybe … others may be able to drive.

LIMBO, LIMBO LIKE ME!

So here we sit … a country in limbo, waiting for the other shoe to drop. There have been prophesies of earthquakes, but I respectfully submit that the rumblings are not in the earth, but among the people, because the PP made promises to a lot of people behind many a closed door and now that they’ve been delivered via vote into the perceived promised land, they need to pay the piper and don’t have a clue as to how to start delivering.

In all honesty I worry more about insurrection than I do about natural disasters. I believe in emergency planning – canned goods, candles, bottled water and batteries, but it’s not about storm clouds above, but about the raging storm in the hearts and bellies of the people.

Pay up, put up and shut up – that’s all there is to it. Give what you promised and do so in a timely fashion and without bellyaching. As it stands … I really don’t see you lasting much longer than two years…

I will continue to watch and wait. I will continue to form my opinions. The sad thing is that I am tired of giving them the benefit of the doubt because there has been no benefit for me.

The Pen stops here … UNTIL.

IT'S IN THE JEANS ...

So I’ve been spilling my beans all over the place and talking about my journey down the often perilous but never boring road called WEIGHT LOSS.

It’s been no picnic, nor has it been a party, and if it was one, then I missed the invitation … but it has been a lesson in patience, stamina and gratitude,

It’s taken me more time than most people because of things like fear, hesitation and yes, even some neglect of self, but I am getting there … I’m plodding along…

RIGHT!!!

So that was my disclaimer … but I do have news to share – or should I say SHOW.

The photos that appear below, tell a story – the story of my waistline, my hips, my thighs, my legs!

Yes folks! I have gone from a size 26 pair of jeans to a Size 14 Tall!

And all I can say is THANK YOU GOD … THANK YOU LEE … THANK YOU EVERYBODY!!!













I’m not done yet … so please don’t leave me … I need your strength to continue this journey… so as always, journey with me.

The Changeling…

THREE LITTLE WORDS...

Yeah I know you were expecting “I love you”, but I have come across three words that pertain to me --- and right now they hold more power.

You see … these words are very much alike yet they are extremely different –

DEER, DEAR, DARE…

Confused much? Don’t be …

DEER

I’ve been, I sadly confess, a deer caught in headlights – waiting to be rescued by someone who would tell me that I didn’t need to say anything … that they understood and heard what was in my heart. I’ve stood in those headlights, longing for the arrival of my supposed Knight in shining armour, who would step out from behind those bright as hell headlights and scoop me up into his strong and competent arms from the path of the oncoming ‘chariot’ and save me from all impending danger. Unfortunately it never happened … the knight didn’t arrive, at least not in time – and invariably I was left to languish under the bus, wallowing in unrequited love, hurt, disappointment, anger and sadness. The ones that I kept near and dear before didn’t hold me in such high esteem. They preferred what they preferred and usually it was someone who they declared to be toxic and unworthy of their love and my worry. The truth is that they declared this so many times that their speeches usually ended up being read by the Universe as declarations of love and passion.

Having seen the cold hard light of dawn, I would be the one to detach and free them to languish in their self imposed toxicity while I licked my wounds … silently – yet again – wondering why it is they couldn’t see what I couldn’t say … all because no one held me …

DEAR

Oh to be dear to someone … that’s really all I’ve wanted – to be held in high and precious regard … to be the one whom others are willing to tilt at windmills for, and to feel moved to do the same.

To be dear is to be precious … to be thought of as special, worth fighting for, even if it means fighting with self. Holding someone dear makes us dear ourselves. Just as our dear ones glow, so do we … as they smile, so do we … it’s a wonderfully symbiotic relationship. Being held dear allows us permission to …

DARE

Dare to be different … dare to step out of the headlights … dare to speak out and into your own life. We dare to say all of the things that we’ve been storing up inside while we stood in those infamous headlights. We dare to be true to self and to the ones we hold dear. Finally we get to the point where nothing short of a watershed moment would give life to all that we have wanted so desperately to speak into being … to give life to.

So basically …
I was a deer until someone held me dear and as a result I now dare to be all the things that others believed that I could be – even when I didn’t – and all the things that I knew were locked deep inside but didn’t dare be.

I am changing, journey with me … I am a work in progress, but what progress I have made … all because I have now taken the time to dare …

Today I dare to fall through my fears because unless I do, I will never know what waits for me, and I will never sprout the appropriate wings that I will need for this flight…